| Straight
from the holler.
by "Buck" January 18, 2006 I hope you guys will forgive me from being absent here for several weeks. I just haven't had any good stuff in me, ya know? The mine disaster here in West Virginia has cut all of us pretty deep. I'd say Wordnerd and Aileen in Mobile didn't have a whole lot of humor about them for several weeks after the Hurricanes. It's kind of the same way here. What you saw on the TV was just "the next big story" to those national reporters—then it's off to destroy Judge Alito or whatever. Here in West Virginia though, it's a painful thing. We all have either worked in the mines, had relatives who works or worked in the mines, or have a friend that has worked or works in the mines. I fall into all three categories.
Everybody likes to joke about what a bunch of inbred hillbillies we are in the state. Fine, whatever—those who use those barbs generally don't have a clue what West Virginia is all about. Sure there are those who fit the stereotype—but you'll find the same thing in any other state. Years ago, New York tabloids came here and sent home stories about wild, feuding hillbillies who wore nary a stitch of clothing, blah, blah, blah. It isn't true at all. Most of the stereotypes of this state were made up to sell newspapers in New York. However, that disservice is played out every time a camera from another state shows up here. Whatever. Get some new material. What West Virginia people truly are is hardworking, honest, and caring about each other. It's not unusual for strangers to help strangers here. It's just how things are…and it's not uncommon for strangers to grieve when strangers die. In reality—nobody is really a stranger. I kinda like it this way as opposed to the alternative.
On to other, brighter stuff….how about that ass-whipping the Mountaineers laid on Georgia in the Sugar Bowl. Wordnerd, you had to be thrilled with the poetic justice. The Mountaineer basketball team is looking nice too and the Steelers won—so all is right in my sports world for the moment.
Holy shit the new 24 is great. Last night wrapped up the second of back to back two hour premier shows. In a matter of four hours they've managed to kill off the former President, the old CTU Manager, and left Tony Alameda seriously wounded with an assassination and a car bomb. Jack Bauer has successfully inserted himself into a half-dozen ridiculously sticky situations and killed about 25 terrorists. Of course after he saved a bunch of hostages in an LA airport, there's always a bigger problem…what with nerve gas being smuggled onto a plane and all. I'm often amazed at how rapidly the characters on this show are able to wield technology. Bauer took a picture with his camera phone last night, e-mailed it to Chloe who digitally enhanced and zoomed the image to a detonator on the terrorist's suicide vest. Using that picture she ran through a data base of known detonators and was able to find an access code to set it off remotely. emailed that back to Jack. He was then able to tap into the frequency of the detonator, push a button and blow the terrorist into a million pieces. This whole thing took about 45 seconds. WHAT THE FUCK? I'm still trying to figure out how to use the coffee maker here at work. The show is admittedly a bit over the top, but it's a TV show and I'm cool with that. Oh, and finally speaking of Chloe. She's banging a co-worker. Her first scene of the year was half-naked in bed with him.
I haven't gone to see Brokeback Mountain—and frankly don't plan to. There are certain things in life that just shouldn't be mixed. Whiskey and ice cream are ones that come to mind, artichokes and peaches are another, and creating silver screened monstrosities that cross John Wayne with Elton John are just not right.
However, my failure to see Brokeback Mountain is nothing new. Hell, I rarely ever see any of those movies that all the critics wet their pants over. The last academy award winner I took in at theaters was probably Saving Private Ryan. The last actual movie I went to see at theaters was Chicken Little…I doubt I'm going to get an Oscar vote anytime soon.
I've always suspected the woman who lives across the street is into wild sex. I'll never know first hand, but I did get a clue into her secret world of erotica. There was a catalogue in the street the other day that apparently fell out of her car. It was filled with tons of sexual toys—like 17 foot dildos and whatnot. The inscription on the address window looked as if this had been picked up at A PARTY. I've heard they sell sex toys through Tupperware style parties, but I never knew anybody who actually went to one. This catalogue had everything from the mild, to the whips and chains stuff. The neighbor lady is admittedly hot, and a widow. She has a different live-in man every week. I've never been past the front door of the house, but I'm betting there's some kind of a secret sex chamber in there filled with mind boggling devices of pain and pleasure. She probably has trapeze sex for hours. Who knew? It's just a quiet, housing development tucked away in the hills of West Virginia. They probably have neighborhood swing parties over there and I'm the only one NOT invited. That wouldn't surprise me in the least.
Oh well, enough for today….House is on tonight. I really enjoy the show. There's nothing quite like the smartest guy in the room being the smartASSiest guy in the room. It's a role I'd love to fill someday.
Buck Out |
