| Straight
from the holler.
by "Buck" September 28, 2005 I turned off the TV in a huff last night and stormed off to bed. My Tennessee Vols were creating the biggest football abortion in the history of the game. The final straw was a pass that LSU intercepted for a touchdown. Tennessee's quarterback heaved the thing like it was the geek's notebook in high school and he was orchestrating a game of keep away. Problem was he was in the back of the end zone and threw it into a crowd of defenders at the THREE YARD LINE. Fucker. He was subsequently thrown INTO THE GOAL POST. LSU probably didn't realize it—but it was that tackle that did them in. The new Tennessee quarterback used to play at LSU, but left to play for the Vols when people said he wasn't good enough for Bayou football. I wake up this morning, turn on the radio, only to learn I missed the greatest college football comeback in history and Tennessee won. It's the story of my life. My condolences early to WordNerd.
I believe I've mentioned in this column before that I was formerly a manager for the University of Tennessee baseball team in the late 80's. It was a nice way to get your college education paid for. We had a close relationship with the football managers staff, they were the elite-since they were, you know, football… Sometimes they'd let us come in and help with the effort. We'd spend an entire Friday night waxing those white helmets you see on TV and shining shoes. Grunt work, but not as bad as you would think. We'd have a case or two of PBR, some AC/DC tunes in the stereo and it wasn't so bad. The payoff would be that we'd get to run through the "T" at Neyland Stadium on game day—and work on the sidelines. This was a high honor that few experience. I remember as we were preparing to storm out onto the field, the last words of advice were. "Whatever you do, DON'T FALL DOWN." Well, that was all I needed to be reminded I was about to be crushed by a see of iron clad humanity before 100-thousand people. I managed to pull it off though and didn't fall. Later on I was in the library several weeks later and spied a picture of the stadium on the cover of a magazine. As I looked closer it was a shot taken from the tunnel where we entered the stadium. Lo and behold, there was my back—taking the first steps toward immortality. Somebody had captured the moment and placed it on the cover of a magazine. The headline read, "What's Wrong with College Athletics." Turned out to be a hit piece talking about all of the grade giving, point shaving, and looking the other way on arrest records for college football players. To quote Jeff Kay, "Simply excellent."
Hey, I was perusing the Hurricane Rita pictures. Talk about your bad luck. Jeff's buddy from New Orleans apparently left and moved to Texas.. and took the sign and everything else with him. Check it out.
I remember when I was a kid I didn't want to tell my kids my dad was a school teacher. In the eyes of an eight year old kid, that just wasn't a cool job. So, I told them about my dad's second job, a farmer. Other buddies had dads with cool jobs. Most of their dads worked in the coal mines—a very manly job. Others dads drove a truck, or were carpenters or bricklayers. I grew up with the children of welders, firefighters, loggers, and pipefitters. Who in the hell wanted to admit their dad was A SCHOOL TEACHER? Now don't get me wrong….it's a very noteworthy job and thankless work. I realize that as an adult… but as a kid the key to all of your pain was a teacher, so nobody wanted to admit that. I'm wondering…. what cool jobs did your dads do? I realize there will be dumb shit like, "My dad was a priest and touched my pee-pee." So in advance of those trying to be smartasses…. GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!
Buck Out |
