April 28, 2007

-- We’re going to spend Sunday in Gettysburg, as part of our just-launched Distractions For A Man On The Cusp Of Losing His Shit Full-Out program. It’ll do us all some good, I think, to walk around with the ghosts of Civil War dead for an afternoon. I know it’s worked wonders in the past.

We also picked our dates for Myrtle Beach, and made our reservations. It’s sometime in June; I’m not sure of the exact days. But my parents are letting us use their big manly camper. So we’ll get to spend a week or so sleeping almost literally on the beach, without all the pain of dragging that ridiculous box o’ beds across the full thickness of America. 

No, it’ll just be a leisurely drive in the Camry, with Tom Petty in the CD player and a big sack of Jelly Bellys on the console. Just the way God intended.

Like I say, I think it’ll do us all some good.

-- I do have another interview on Wednesday, so at least I’m getting some action on the job front. This is for an inventory manager gig, and the location of their office is freaking me out, man. It’s literally on the same plot of land as my former job.

I’m not kidding, the building where they’re based is the former corporate headquarters of the manufacturing plant where I worked for the past seven years; it’s located literally in the shadows of my old place of employment! Several years ago the powers-that-be decided they didn’t need the outside building, and sold it off. And now I’m interviewing for a job there.   

And how forkin’ weird would that be?

But it sure would be nice to get back to work, regardless of the location. I’m starting to go batty in this house. Lots of exciting things have happened since I’ve been able to devote more time to the site, but I really need to get back to a “normal” life. I think I’m only a few weeks away from building poop castles in the living room. Or, even worse, Sudoku.

Will somebody please hold me?

-- Sunshine and Mumbles are coming for one of their marathon visits soon. By this time next week they’ll be here, unless something changes, and they’re supposed to stay for at least ten days. And I have no job where I can hide-out… Sweet sainted mother of Luther Mahoney.

While they’re here we’re supposed to spend a day in Philadelphia, and presumably the rest of the time will be taken up with Sunny sitting around on couches fanning herself, gasping for air like a trout on a pier, and complaining like a person entered in a complaining contest.

What’s that old John Denver song? Sunshine on my soooofa, just a-bitchin’? Yeah, I think that’s right.

Why me, Lord?

-- A man told me yesterday that many large companies try their best not to hire white males, in an attempt to demonstrate their devotion to diversity in the workplace. It’s nothing I didn’t already know, of course, and I shrugged it off. But I was thinking… 

Perhaps if I tweaked my resume a bit, and listed my name as Jeff K’ay? Or maybe Gephree Que? What do you think? Would it get me more interviews? And how else could I enhance things to get past the moratorium on big fat middle-aged white guys?

-- Toney got called for jury duty yesterday, and I’m extremely jealous. I’m 44 years old and have only been called once, and it was for Los Angeles County after we’d already moved to Scranton. 

So I’ve never had the experience of serving on a jury, or even going through the jury selection process. Why?? I’m always registered to vote, wherever we live, but I never get called.

All my adult life I’ve wanted to be one of twelve angry men, even if I’m just pretending to be angry for the benefit of the other eleven. (Passion is for suckers.) Why am I continuously denied the right to roll up my sleeves, eat Chinese takeout at a conference table, and run my hands through my hair at 1 am?

Hell, I can vote GUILTY AS ALL CRAP, as well as anyone.

Have you ever served on a jury? Tell me about it, won’t you? Use the comments link below. Since, you know, I’m apparently never going to be called, and can only live the experience through others. Wotta ripoff…

I’ll see you guys on Monday.



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Last updated
01/17/12 12:12 PM

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