April 23, 2007

-- Check this out. Is that not excellent? I submit that it is. But you know what they say… Take a blurry picture of a hamburger, and the world will beat a path to your door. Then demand better lighting.

-- The Ads vs. Reality page is still kicking, in case you give a tiny seahorse-shaped craplet. I figured it would last for a couple of days, then start to fade. But it’s not fading, it’s not fading at all. In fact, it looks like today might be the biggest traffic-day so far. Completely amazing.

And all I can say is I’m thankful I changed webhosts a couple of years ago. I’m with Hostito now and have been in constant contact with them during this whole crazy ordeal. Yeah, the extra traffic is costing me some money, but nothing like the old days.

Right now, as I type this, I’m a whopping 151 gigabytes over my allowance for April. But the good folks at Hostito have acted like partners, not enemies, and we came to a fair agreement. 

Jason Headley hooked me up with those guys, and I owe him a huge debt of gratitude. If you’re looking for a new host, do yourself a favor and consider Hostito. I (and Jason) couldn’t be more pleased.

I don’t want to embarrass anyone by mentioning my old host by name (Earthlink), but I did the math a few minutes ago and I’d be looking at a charge of $15,100(!!) if I was still a customer there. I don’t think they’d hold me to that, but they’d probably insist I pay half, or something. Anyone who was around during the Neti Pot Debacle knows it’s true. 

And divorce proceedings would be underway in Scranton, the movers would be here, and I’d be sitting on a box in the basement blubbering softly in the darkness....

So there you go; you’re up to date on all that crapola. Let’s move on to the Regular Stuff, shall we?

-- The weekend was incredible, weather-wise. Maybe it’s the contrast with last weekend, when there was nearly a foot of snow on the ground, but the past few days have seemed like paradise itself.

The sun is shining here, the temperatures are reaching the high 70s every day, and the bugs aren’t awake yet. Perfect!

Because of this, we spent a lot of time outside on Saturday and Sunday. I think we visited every park within a 25-mile radius of our house, and logged many miles of walking and sun-soakin’.

We even fired up the grill on Saturday, popped open a few Magic Hat #9s, and had ourselves a full-on summer-style cookout. 

It was great. I hope it was the same in your neck of the woods.

-- Not to turn a positive into a negative here (ahem), but why are state parks such trash magnets? Can anyone explain this to me? Like I said, we went to several parks over the weekend, and the state park alone was crawling with white trash. 

The whole time we were there, I was humming this song without even realizing it.

We walked beside the lake, and I think there were people actually fishing for food there. They didn’t look like they were out there for the sport of it, or for leisure, I think they were making arrangements for supper. 

Most of the guys were shirtless and heavily-scarred, and the women were tattooed, pushing their tube-tops to the very limit, and hollering at their little buzzcut hicklets with terrifying cigarette and bourbon voices.

I saw what I presume to be a man fishing near the pier, and he looked like a human embryo in a NAPA cap. Remember the “baby” in Eraserhead? It was something along those lines. I wondered how he’d ever reel in a fish, if he actually caught one. But something tells me that embryonic man-husk is shockingly strong, and could probably kick my ass.

As we were walking back to our car we encountered a morbidly obese woman with a cig dancing on her lips, having a shouted conversation with a chinless man down by the lake. Always with the shouting…. She hollered that Bobby was getting a timeout in the truck, because he’d gone “over the line.”

I told Toney their “line” was undoubtedly located somewhere other than our line. Wonder what Bobby had done, anyway? Burned down a church? I just don’t know.

Here are some pics I snapped at the same park, a few years ago.

The other parks were far less colorful. However, we did see a deaf couple arguing, and that’s a new one on me. Man, they were going to town with their signing. Both were stabbing at the air, and getting all violent with it. At one point the woman let loose with one of those big swooping signs where the pinkie is extended, and I thought the man’s head would surely explode. He didn’t much care for the swooping.

What did you guys do this weekend? Anything exciting? Tell us about it, won’t you?

And I’ll be back tomorrow.

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Last updated
01/17/12 12:12 PM

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