Holy
crap in a Bundt pan...
Due to the
recent well-publicized shortage of
amateur websites produced by assholes who consider themselves to be
clever, I
have been called into action. My name is Jeff Kay, and I’m an
Ugly American living
on the cusp of a mid-life crisis, near Scranton, PA. And I’m here to
serve, baby.
The
State of My Fat Ass A journal of
sorts, updated every once in a while.
--Our little Ads vs. Reality page has officially joined the ranks
of the gargoyle, Mike
Piazza, and the guys and gals of Deadwood.Unbelievable traffic.In
fact, there’s been so much activity it makes me nervous.Twice yesterday the entire site went down, and I had to call my
webhost and plead for mercy.
Today is starting out just like yesterday, and I’m kinda wishing it
would slow down a bit.Sure,
I’m happy so many people are interested in what we do here (these
folks, for instance), but can’t we spread it out a little?Jesus J. McChrist.
I’m never satisfied, am I?
--I haven’t written about
this, because I feel like I’ll jinx myself, but I had a second
interview last week with a company I’d love to work for.That happened on Wednesday, and I haven’t heard a word from
them since.
I know it’s only been a week, but it’s making me crazy.Crazy, I tell you!As
one of our great philosophers, Tom Petty, once said, the waiting is the
hardest part.
There are lots of exciting things happening on the website/writing
front, but I’d feel like a million pounds had been lifted off my
shoulders if I could land a new job so early in the process.
I don’t want to go into all the details, but the current situation has
cast a gloom over the House of Kay.Toney and I don’t do uncertainty very well, it’s becoming
increasingly clear, and are both craving a return to normalcy.
So, since not writing about it
didn’t seem to help, maybe writing about it will?I’ll let you know how that goes.
--And speaking of job
interviews… That gives me an excuse to link to this again, the best
Dilbert ever.Man, that is
Nostrils, personified.
--My Netflix queue has
fallen into disrepair, my friends.I
have no passion for it anymore, and everything’s gone to hell.There are weeds in the yard, a rusted-out washing machine 'neath
the oak tree, and a muddy tractor tire on the front porch.
I hate to admit it, but I’ve become a flixbilly.
Oh, I still enjoy watching the discs, that hasn’t changed.But I no longer move things up and down my queue, or add new
releases, or any of the maintenance necessary for a full and rewarding
Netflix experience.
Also,
I’m finding I prefer old TV shows to movies these days.My mind is constantly racing and besodden with worry, and it’s
hard to focus for two hours straight.So
I’m clinging to Homicide, Veronica Mars,
and 24.They’re just what the doctor ordered, it seems.
I’ve had The Good Shepherd
here for several days, and don’t have even the tiniest of desires to
watch it.It’s almost three(!)
hours long, and I just can’t see that happening.I think I’m going to send it back this afternoon, unwatched.
Like I said, flixbilly.
--Jason Headley sends along this
glistening jewel of video brilliance.It’s
purportedly taken from an Atlanta
public access TV show, and you owe it to yourself to watch it.Just about as good as it gets….
--Remember those pills they used
to give us in school that made the filth on our teeth turn red?Wonder if they still do that?I
have a feeling it was outlawed years ago, because of concerns about
self-esteem, etc.
Indeed, there was a girl at our school, Cathy S., who looked like she
was wearing a boxer’s mouth guard after chewing up one of those
things.Just solid red, all the
way around.I bet that
didn’t exactly make her day.
But I think they should bring back the Filth Illuminating Tablets,
don’t you?It’s was a simpler
time when authority figures forced us to turn bad hygiene into whimsical
novelty colors.Ya know?
Hell, I think they should take it one step farther and make every kid
put on a funk suit.They could
slip it on over their regular clothes, and the thing would change colors
in places where it doesn’tsmell
quite right.
I can hear it now:“Here comes
Sister Blue Crack!” or “Everyone make way for Johnny Red Pits!!”
I think that would be excellent.
--I don’t really have a
question for you today, unless you’d like to suggest some other TV
shows for me to watch through Netflix.I’m
not interested in sitcoms right now, just crime stuff, mostly.I’m very intrigued by The
Wire, and might go that route next.Any
other suggestions?
I’m gonna turn it over to Brad now, and call it a day.His latest can be found right here.Hopefully the site will stay up long enough for you to read it.
--