March 23, 2007

-- I’m living with a dark, dark shame, my friends. I can barely look at myself in the mirror. When I awaken in the morning there’s a split-second when it feels like everything is still normal and good, then reality comes crashing down and I’m plunged, once again, into a horrible despair. I cannot believe what I have done….

Are you all sitting down?

This is so difficult to talk about. But they say it’s best to just get it out there. Right? So that’s what I’m going to do. Oh God… Earlier this week Toney and I, um, watched, that’s right, an entire episode of Dancing With The Stars.

There, I said it. And I won’t blame you at all if you now click away from this site, never to return. It’s a fair reaction. But in my own defense, just let me say: there was a one-legged woman on there. And she was, you know, dancing. So it’s not as bad as it might seem. …Or am I just making excuses?

Also, there was the spectacle of Billy Ray Cyrus doing some sort of frenzied cha-cha-cha that resembled a gas-huffing hillbilly caught up in a swarm of hornets out behind the shithouse. Man, he was going to town.

And the one-legger isn’t even a sympathetic character; she’s always up on her high-horse about something or other, and is currently in the process of Screwing Over a Beatle. So there’s little to no guilt when you sit there and pray that she does one of those big leg kicks, and her prosthetic comes flying off and hurtles end-over-end into the audience, with shoe still attached.

So anyway, it’s all out in the open now. Do what you must, my friends. I am so ashamed….

-- I have to go to my old office today, box up my computer and printer and crap, and UPS it all back to Burbank. I’ve been putting it off, but they’re starting to bitch a little on the left coast. So, I guess, today’s the day.

Earlier this week my ex-boss’s assistant called me, and said, “What’s going on?” I answered, “Oh nothing. I’m just sitting here pushing pins into a voodoo doll.” She didn’t know what to say to that, so she got right to it and asked about my computer. I promised to overnight it someday this week.

And if I were a less-mature man (ahem), I might consider ending my twenty-five year streak today. Right in the pencil tray of my desk drawer. But, of course, that ain’t gonna happen.

-- Yesterday I received my THIRD damaged and unplayable 24 disc from Netflix. Since I’ve been a member of that elite outfit, I’ve rented dozens and dozens of DVDs, maybe even a hundred or more. And the only problems I’ve ever encountered were 24-based.

I don’t know what the story is. Perhaps folks get all cranked up on Jack Bauer, start walking different and being rough with things. I’m just not clear on it. But those 24 discs are beat all to hell, and sometimes arrive with a milky glaze that I don’t even want to think about.

Pass the 409.

-- Yesterday I sent out a brief Note From The Bunker email, through the Surf Report mailing list. If you believe you’re signed-up for that so-called newsletter and didn’t receive it, there’s a problem with your email address. In fact, about seventy-five bounced back to me as undeliverable.

I haven’t been maintaining the list very well, which is but one of the many half-asseries in the world of Jeff Kay, and it’s been a long time since I’ve even used it….

So, I’m going to clean up all the bad mojo on this end, and if you’d like to receive periodic updates on Surf Report happenings, please subscribe here. You can expect a short email note, every month or so, with bits of information that might be of interest.

And I’m suddenly very, very tired.

-- Remember how I was worried that LOST was starting to list a bit toward suck? Well I take it all back. The last several episodes have been excellent, as great as ever.

I didn’t much care for the six or eight shows that started the “Fall Season,” where Sawyer and Kate were locked in tiger cages, or whatever. But they’ve got the old magic working again, and I’m back to proclaiming it Best Show on Television.

It’s so good, in fact, we don’t even fast-forward through the commercials, so we can stretch it out longer and savor the experience. And that’s sayin’ something.

-- I’m thinking about buying one of these; I’m most-definitely an edge man. Man, I love me some edges. Toney, on the other hand, likes only the land-locked variety. Weird, huh?

-- This is a really cool collection of TV show opening credit sequences, that supposedly fit each program perfectly. And it includes freakin’ Mannix. Oh yeah.

Which ones did they miss?

-- And finally, here’s a short video clip entitled West Virginia 911. Check it out.

You guys have yourselves a great day.

I'll see ya on Monday.

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Last updated
01/17/12 12:11 PM

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