May 5, 2004

Fast Times at The Twilight Criterium

As I promised at the end of the last column and actually the one before that, here is my running diary of the 25th annual Athens Twilight Criterium. For those of you who have no idea what this is, it's a 100(?) lap bike race around the perimeter of downtown Athens. The cyclists do these types of races all over the country as a living and this in one of the premier stops. There are several bands that play during the course of the two-day event as well as a 5K run, kids races, and hand cycle races. It's one of the biggest events held in town behind Bulldog home football games and Athfest.

Although the activities started on Friday afternoon, the race itself was not scheduled to begin until 9pm on Saturday, thus called the "Twilight Criterium." We left to downtown at about 7pm Saturday evening. After fighting through race day traffic and parking issues, we found a spot at about 7:20pm.

7:20pm - Spirits are high despite the traffic and hassle of finding a parking spot. Thankfully, nobody panicked and we found a free spot. Let the fratholes pay; their daddies can afford it. Our half of the group is Sonya, Liz, and me. If you note in the photo, Sonya is drinking a PBR, so at least one of us has class. She wasn't driving with it though, this isn't Mississippi.

7:30pm - We agreed to meet the rest of the group in the inner circle of downtown. However, this proved to be a bad idea as it was almost impossible to find a crossing point in the barricade created for the racers.

7:35pm - Still looking for a hole.

7:40pm - Still looking for a hole. Sonya seems to becoming grumpy.

7:45pm - While still looking for a hole, I took this photo of a pack of
racers making one last trip around the course. Not bad for a cheap ass digital camera. Sonya has become completely despondent.

7:50pm - We finally crack through to the inner circle. Only 30 minutes. Things are already on the wrong foot. I need a drink.

7:55pm - We meet up with Matt & Sara, Will, Dave, and some other people there is no reason wasting space on because they're bit players. Trust me. My roommate Jon calls to tell me he is downtown and will meet us at the pre-determined location.

8:03pm - Jon shows up. WTF? It took us 30 minutes to do what he did in eight.

8:15pm - We find a perfect viewing spot right outside the bar Sterling
Britches. Sterling Britches is an excellent bar, with a great staff,
fantastic drink specials, and rockin tunes on the sound system. Cough...Cough... I don't know, maybe I can get a tab out of it. I'm not too proud to accept free beer from any establishment.

8:20pm - The hand cyclist race kicks off and those guys are whipping around the course pretty quickly.

8:30pm - One of the hand cyclists wipes out in front of us. Fortunately, he was able to right himself with no assistance and finish the race. That's one tough bastard. I'm sure I would have stayed there, shook my fists at God and waited until the pace car came back around to run me over.

8:35pm - All right. It's been long enough. The race starts soon and I haven't had a drink in hours. Jon and I walk into Sterling Britches and are amazed to find out that the place isn't that bad. In fact, the manager is a guy named Ben that I used to work with back in my Subway days. It's always good to see another survivor. Anyway, the special of the night was a $2 32oz Bud Light. I'm not a fan, but at $2, I can fake it. Here's a photo of Jon and I with our frosty brews. By the way ladies, if you in the Athens area, Jon's a recently single, fit, educated, and liberal guy.

8:45pm  -Jon and I are enjoying our beers and watching the Mavs-Kings playoff game. The damn Mav's have to be the most exciting and disappointing team in the NBA. Nothing else to see here.

9:00pm - Jon and I exit the bar right as the starting gun is fired. The
racers take off and reach our turn in about a minute and a half. The coolest part for me, besides the fact that these guys go balls out for over an hour (I get winded walking up the stairs sometimes), is that as they fly past you, a gust of wind blows up. Pretty sweet.

9:10pm - After watching a few laps, Jon and I decide to harass some of the cyclists from other races and I got a photo with BRIAN (as seen last week). God my teeth look yellow. Might be time to invest into some white strips.

9:15pm - In the guise of "looking for cyclists," Jon and I slip back into
Sterling Britches and enjoy a $2, 32oz Top Shelf margarita courtesy of Ben. The good times are rolling.

9:30pm - After drinking for a few minutes, we go back outside to find that most of the group has departed. Apparently, too high and mighty to go into Sterling Britches, they went to Nowhere bar. I'm not quite sure how that was an upgrade, but there we went.

9:45 -10:30pm - The group of us is sitting at Nowhere bar talking about God knows what now. But I'm sure it was funny cause all the photos I took indicate we had a good time.  However, while using the facilities I realized this has to be one of the all time worst bathrooms in downtown Athens. I suspect I will devote a photo essay to the worst five in the future. I can tell you what number one is with no hesitation though. The Georgia Theater. Just nightmarish. 

10:40pm - The race comes to an end and the crowds outside start to go home. The group ended up being out until sometime after 2am. I don't even know who won, but honestly, I don't care. The race was just another excuse to go out drinking with my friends.

Person I'd Like to Punch

This time I'm keeping the violence in the family and punching my younger brother (of course, they all are) Douglas. He was supposed to fly up this weekend along with my brothers David and Robert, but let his certification slip on a certain instrument and couldn't fly up with the weather being rainy. Instead of hanging out with my brothers, I was forced to eat a feast for one at Bono's BBQ, finish reading Friday Night Lights, and play video games. I have no idea why I'm putting on weight.  Fat chance of my clearing weekend for them next time they want to come up.

Since I do want them to come up and hang out eventually, I guess I'll give him a quick, yet solid, punch in the shoulder while he's carrying groceries or something. You know, just enough to piss him off.

Peace Out

Here is where we say goodbye until next time. Take care and feel free to email me at jacsv76@hotmail.com or comment on the forums.

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