Celebrate the birth of our Lord, by going out in the yard and pumping arrows into a deer facsimile!   

New!  The Nightmare Generator, by Gander Gang.

What is this, 1956?  Are you supposed to take this to the bomb shelter?  I like Ike, yo.

Chic.

Look, it's the HomoCam!

Leave it to Pennsylvanians to make dips offensive.  What's next, Fucking-A Cola?

Well, there's something to be said for optimism.

Why would a person need a seven-disc DVD player?  Do people actually sit on their "offensive dip"-eating asses for fourteen straight hours, and can't be bothered to change a disc every once in a while?  Is that simply too inconvenient?  Or do they like to set it on shuffle-play and watch a scene from Cannonball Run, then one from Sophie's Choice, then another from The Loin King?  I don't get it. 

If I were a member of N'Sync's management I'd steer clear of anything that has to do with head bobbing.

Some asses simply cry out to be kicked.