Op-Ed by Rocky from the Insane Asylum

Ninny Heaven

Dropped my boys off at the daycare yesterday morning and the girl that runs the place was wearing a very low cut top. She’s a babe, and they were hangin’ out!! Most of the girls that work there are quite attractive, and that’s one of the reasons that I picked this daycare. Okay, it’s the only reason that I picked this daycare. Go ahead, abuse my kids, just let me see them ninnies.

Yesterday after work I stopped by the rail trail to jog 4 miles along the river in Morgantown. As I began jogging a girl on a mountain bike approached in the opposite direction and yelled at me, “Be careful... rattlesnake...” That was all I heard. What? Where is it? Fuck! I cautiously jogged along the crushed limestone path, never taking my eyes off the road. Never saw a snake though.

When I was almost back to my car, I noticed a woman walking on the trail and she appeared naked. As I got closer I realized she was wearing a string bikini. She looked good. Ellie Mae Clampett good. With long blond hair and everything. I think she was getting a walking tan or something because she kept her face turned toward the sun. She kept staring at the sun to the point of walking off the trail a couple of times. I made it to my car, went a little further, turned around and proceeded to walk back up the trail so I could get a frontal view of Ellie Mae. Still looked good.

One thing that’s great about living in a college town this time of year is the amount of firm tits to be seen. That’s right, thousands of them. I can barely drive through town without straining my neck. Thankfully we have had extremely hot weather lately which necessitates minimal clothing. I don’t think the college guys appreciate the firmness of all those tits. Wait until Mr. College gets married, his wife has several kids and let’s them nurse on those tits until they are the consistency of a water sock toy. Then, then, he will truly appreciate firmness. I’m sure my wife could say something familiar about my firmness or lack thereof, but she’s not writing this.

At the gym on Saturday morning it was just me and two lesbians. I was having a grand ‘ol time just watching them work out. One was definitely the male, though both had more testosterone than I did. After about twenty minutes of watching them, something interesting happened. An attractive, hetero chick walks in. At least I think she was straight. I mean she had longish hair and no tattoos. She walks over to a treadmill and she is getting checked out by me and the two lesbians. Were they thinking the same thing I was thinking? I bet they were. And I wonder what the hetero chick was thinking? Probably, “Oh shit, I know, I just know that those lesbos will follow me to the showers.” And “Why does that short little bald fucker keep staring at me? As if!"

Read other heart-tugging Op-Ed's from Rocky!

Hunting Season
My State Job

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