| Straight
from the holler.
by "Buck" February 23, 2006 This picture was included in the hometown newspaper this past week. I think we should open up the comments section to what the caption under this picture should be.
I've been sitting in on a hunter safety class in West Virginia this past week. I'm thoroughly amazed at the human condition. Do you recall in high school there were always one or two smart fuckers who answered every question, even the rhetorical ones…? I used to have a disdain for these people. There's a clear line between classroom participation and sniffing of the educated dingleberry and it was always painfully obvious when this line was crossed. I knew the answers too many of the questions during classroom discussion, but I held back so as not to look like a big pussy. Well, I haven't been in a classroom of any kind in 20-years, but things still haven't changed. There is a guy in this hunter education course who's taking the class with his secret. He answers EVERY fucking question that is posed. He also loves to act like he knows everything. An example, last night we were discussing shotguns and the most popular gauges. Generally that would be 10, 20, 12, .410, 16, and 28 gauges. The instructor noted that years ago there used to be 8 gauges, but they've since fallen out of popularity. However, this asshole had to up the ante with his superior firearms knowledge.
"In Europe they use a 4-gauge." He proudly proclaimed as is he just walked off the boat from Belgium. The instructor was clearly unimpressed. His poor kid was embarrassed as hell. The kid obviously knows from school that his dad is being a crack-licker and is having a hard time accepting that fact.
I heard a story about the Olympics on the radio this week in which one of those tight-assed figure skaters actually said, "It's like, you know, skaters can be like overly dramatic about stuff." Boy, there's a revelation for you. Stop the presses.
A coworker of mine is all caught up in the Olympics. She lives and dies for it 24/7. She keeps me abreast of all the latest developments, both in competition and off. She tells me this pothead snowboarder with the flaming red hair, Tomato Man or whatever has the hots for one of these figure skaters. He apparently said something to the effect, "I've got a gold medal now, think she'll notice me?" My co-worker dubbed that as "so sweet." I quoted my good friend Jeff Kay…. "Wotta douche."
Beyond that guy's obviously painful approach to the ladies—he does have a pretty good outlook on life. He apparently was in his room in Italy playing PlayStation before the competition. All of his teammates were out practicing and he said to himself, "Oh, maybe I ought to do that." He doesn't have a coach either and says that's what he likes about the sport, "Nobody tells me what to do." Then he goes out, just fucking around, and wins the Gold Medal!!!!!! He's gonna fit in just fine in corporate America. I predict in about a year, he'll be in a corner office, drawing down some sweet paycheck with a secretary wearing black garters, and logging onto the WVSR trying to be "first" in the Comments Section.
I've discovered further evidence that my hot, young, widow neighbor across the street is a sex maniac. The other day she came home from work and I watched her get out of her car. She dropped something and as she bent over to pick it up, you could see the top of her ass from the top of her hip huggers. The bend revealed a red, extremely lacy, thong. Why does one wear that unless you're going to have circus sex with strangers? I'm sure she's holding group orgies over there and I'm not being invited. Although, I could be totally wrong. How many of you female readers wear a thong for its comfort? How many of you wear the fancy panties for no reason other than…you like them? I always figured functional is better than fashion unless you're trying to impress somebody… but then again — what do I know. It's a burning question and I need answers.
As always, enlighten me with your wisdom at Moonshinebuck@yahoo.com
Buck Out |
