People In Newspaper Ads
Who Look Like They're Farting

Always the life of the party, Ernie manipulates his butt cheeks to alter the tone of his escaping flatus. He is affectionately known as Bagpiper of the Ass.

A traditionalist, Richard prefers the "tilting to one side" method. When it comes to farting, Richard doesn't subscribe to the Flashy New Ways. He likes to keep it simple and real, out of respect for the past masters.

While walking to his car Robert pauses and discretely lifts the heel of one foot, just enough to break the seal, then lets loose with a low rumbler. Robert appreciates the cathedral-like acoustics of the parking garage.

Always a risk-taker, Felicia seizes the opportunity when her host excuses herself to retrieve a platter of sandwiches from the kitchen. On that patio it now sounds like the Emergency Alert signal is going off.

Marc dares you to have a problem with his oily cauliflower gas. Marc is borderline predatory when it comes to farting, and represents the ugly side of the sport.

Utilizing the one-heel-up method, Jacob unleashes a "Game Show Buzzer," and Ethan reacts in the accepted manner. This is a paradigm that transcends all cultures and age groups.

Marie and her co-workers have had a bit to drink, and things are quickly spiraling out of control. Marie will earn an unfortunate new office nickname tonight: the pants-shitter.

Jim likes to pretend he's in a constant state of gastrointestinal distress; that's his "hook." In reality, he is nothing more than a common showboater.

Ron got a big laugh with his previous eruption, and is trying it again. Unfortunately, it's too much too soon and his sequel will fall flat. This is a common error amongst inexperienced, over-eager party farters.

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