I'm loaded with
tumors darling, and I don't even know it.
December 18, 2007
A Slight and
Bloggy Christmas
--I’m starting to get a bit concerned about Christmas visitors.As mentioned earlier, I’m hoping (please God!) that my
parents will be here the same time Eninen and their brood of l’il
translucents pass through town.Even
if it’s only for a couple of hours, it would be the greatest meeting
since Elvis and
Nixon, if not chicken and gravy.
But now people are starting to hedge their bets (if you'll excuse the
use of the word hedge while discussing Nancy), and tweak their
schedules.And I can’t
have that.The whole
holiday will be ruined if I’m unable to witness my Dad and Nossy in
the same room, talking.
Is that too much to ask?I
mean, seriously.Perhaps
I’ll go to the mall today and sit on Santa’s lap, and explain it
all to him?I’m sure
he’d be able to pull some strings, being Santa and all…
Nancy and the gang are going to Renofor the
holidays, and are flying out of, get this, Philadelphia.They live way up at the top of the map somewhere, but are
driving hundreds of miles to get on an airplane.This is the way they live their lives.
But whatever.They were
supposed to spend a night here, on their two day trip before
traveling, but are now talking about bypassing The Compound and staying with a
cousin somewhere south of us.Wotta
rip-off!
And, a cousin?!Where was
this person when I really
needed him/her?Hmm?Man, Nostrildamus is the king of pulling previously unheard-of
“relatives” out of his ass, as the situation requires. They just
don't want my Mom and Dad to witness the wild animal antics of the
see-throughs.
And my parents are starting to freak out about snow, and it wouldn’t
surprise me if they don’t come at all.They apparently believe we live on the polar ice cap up here,
and are all the time talking about snow.Yes, it occasionally happens, but not ‘round the clock from
November through March, like they believe.Grrrr.
The whole thing’s crumbling…All
my hopes and dreams are crashing down…I need a sleeve of Fig Newtons.
--And since we're on the
subject, here’s some current (and kinda funny) news about the
greatest Christmas song of them all.And
here, again, is the video.
I still don’t understand how Shane outlived
Kirsty…How is such a thing even possible?R.I.P. Kirsty.I’m
gonna break out one of your CDs right now.
--So far we’ve watched National
Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,
Elf
(what of it?),
andA
Christmas Story.This weekend we’ll enjoy the cult classic without a cult, The Homecoming,
and I (Toney sits this one out) will revisit the original Black Christmas.
Then our required holiday movie-watching will be complete.
Should there be any additional titles on my must-watch list?And I’m only talking about full-length movies here, not old
TV shows like Shitting
on Charlie Brown Again, This Time at Christmas,
or whatever it was called.
Help me out, won’t you?I
like to keep the list lean and mean, but I think there could
be room for one more.
--On a related note,
here’s a list of the supposed Ten Worst Christmas Movies of All
Time.And here’s a video
that covers similar territory.Did
they miss any?
And what do you think about the inclusion of Christmas
Vacation??Are they freakin’ nuts?It
just wouldn’t be the holidays without Randy Quaid spraying liquefied
feces down a storm drain in his bathrobe.I’m sorry, I’m getting a little emotional…
And I know this one’s kinda
slight
and bloggy, but that’s the way it goes sometimes.
(what of it?),
and
