--Sorry ‘bout yesterday.I
tried to write, I really did, but there were so many distractions…
For
one thing, the severance pay from my old job wasn’t deposited into
our account on Wednesday, like it should have been.I didn’t think too much about it, occasionally it’s a
little late.But when it
didn’t show up on Thursday either, I got concerned.
So I started making phone calls, and nothing I heard made me feel any
better.Our credit union
saw no pending deposits, and couldn’t help me beyond that.I called The Company, and they told me a paper check had been
printed and mailed, but they couldn’t immediately explain why.
And that’s the part that concerned me the most.I remember somebody saying, back during a previous lifetime,
that the first severance
check is on paper, and the last
severance check is on paper.Everything
in between is direct-deposited.
And
this week’s check is NOT the final payout.
I became convinced they were trying to screw me.I got out the agreement I’d signed back in March, and it’s
loaded, simply loaded, with incomprehensible legalese.I have no doubt there are trapdoors hidden in there, and
worried I might’ve fallen through one.
While I waited for a call back, I was
pacing from window to window, running my hands through my hair, and
periodically yelling “BASTARDS!”
It’s not that we’re desperate for the money, at least not yet.No, I just want
what’s due to me, dammit, and it was making me crazy thinking they
were pulling a fast one.I
don’t want to go into all the details here, but I was concerned
about something specifically, a bit of advice (a warning) a person
offered off-the-record in March, and it had me growling like a dog.
But the whole thing turned out to be a false alarm.A “computer error” caused all severance checks to print on
paper this week, and it had nothing to do with me personally.Or so I was told.Next
time, I am assured, everything should return to normal.
Oh, and I learned something else, as well.My final check, due at the end of January, will include
whatever money they owe me for unused vacation days.And how many do I have?That’s
right, fifty.Fifty DAYS
of vacation, turned to cash.Oh yeah.
--It snowed yesterday, as
well. (All the way up to my crapshaft.)Schools were closed, and Toney and the Secrets were home.So, that meant shoveling, the previously mentioned growling,
and interruptions galore.
And that’s why there was no Thursday update.
--It’s all over the
news, of course, but I’m trying to ignore the baseball/steroids
story.The whole thing
makes me sad.Because of
cheating asshole players, a union that doesn’t give a tiny
seahorse-shaped shitlet about what’s best for the game, and a fake
commissioner, the sport was allowed to be damaged.Maybe beyond repair.
The part that makes me the saddest, is the two iconic home run
records that were “broken” by some shitpouch all jacked-up on God
knows what.
Baseball was always unique because players from different generations
and eras could be compared to one another; batting and pitching
statistics didn’t differ wildly through the years.You know, until everyone started shooting up like freakin’
Sid Vicious.
And now… a couple of the greatest achievements in the history of the
sport, one of which had been standing sincebefore I was born, are gone.Which would be OK, if it were real and true.But it ain’t real and true, it’s a sham.
And this crap is as bad as the 1919 World Series.
--Yesterday I saw a
commercial for Chia Pets, featuring the disembodied head of
Shaggy(?!), and haven’t been able to get that stupid ch-ch-ch-Chia!
thing out of my brain.
Yeah, that would be irritating enough, but I can’t even get it
right.I’m singing it
over and over again, but keep inserting an extra ch.I’m getting overzealous with the chs!
To tell you the truth, I don’t care for any of it.
--Have you ever seen a
person with one tall tooth on the bottom?You know, they’ll be all lined up and normal-looking, except
for one, which is almost twice as tall?Just wondering…
--I have both Superbad and Knocked-Up
ready to go here.I’m
going to attempt to watch both over the weekend, return ‘em to
Netflix, and jump feet first into Perry
Mason Season 2, and Dexter
Season 1.Dexter
is something I’m not familiar with.But you guys say I need to see it, so I need to see it…
--A woman at work uses
the word “yet” in place of “still.”Or something along those lines. For instance, during our lunch
break a few nights ago, she said, “It’s not time to go back, we
have five minutes yet!”
Is that common, and I just never noticed it before?It doesn’t make any logical sense to me.It’s almost as baffling as “I’m fixing to have a Moon
Pie.”I mean, what the
hell?
--Brad sends along this
excellent collection of short fart-based videos.Good stuff, especially the Run-By Farter.
That guy can either let it fly on cue, or is a master at
gas-synchronization.Which,
I imagine, isn’t too easy...I
mean, you’d have to take into account running distance, a number of
exertion variables, and wind drag, among other factors.
I don’t know the man personally, but I salute him for his
achievement.
--I don’t really have a
good solid Question today.I
listened to Clive Bull yesterday evening, but he was talking about men
carrying handbags, or somesuch.Nothing
there I can steal…
So I’ll leave you instead with a few vague
questions, and hope for the best.
I’m not sure where this one came from, but a few days ago I started
wondering if Jesus ever rode a horse.I don’t know much about the Bible, so I’m turning to you
folks.Is there any
indication in the scriptures that Jesus ever went horseback riding?What about other modes of travel, like boats?
I mean no disrespect with this, I’m sincerely interested in knowing
how he got around.I never
really considered Jesus en transit before.Can you help?
Also, what’s a good stock to buy, for less than $10 per share?Over the past year or so I’ve been taking a (very) small
amount each month, and investing it in a couple of, um, affordable
stocks.Now I’m getting
bored with it all, and want to switch over to something new.Since I don’t know a damn thing about any of it, I need your
advice.Got any tips for a
husky man seeking tips?
And since we’re on the subject, what’s your opinion of people who
eat in grocery stores?Sometimes
I see folks pushing a cart around with a sack of tater chips open in
the child seat, just a-crunching away.This bothers me, for some reason.Oh, I’m sure they pay for the stuff at the end, that’s not
it.I just think it’s
kinda stoopid, if not mildly pathetic.Ya
know?
Sweet sainted mother of Bob Cobb, have a little self-control.If you can’t wait five minutes until you get to your car, or
(gasp!) all the way home, you’ve got a problem, Sam.Or am I wrong about that?Let
me know.
And finally, what do you know about exchange students?Are they real?I’ve
only seen them on situation comedies, but they must actually exist,
right?Do you have any
experience with exchange students?Has one actually lived with you?Perhaps you were one?
Tell me about it, won’t you?Use
the comments link below.
And I’m calling it a week, my friends.You guys have yourselves a wonderful weekend, and don’t
forget to say the magic words:please,
thank you, and you’re welcome.
Oh, and one more quick thing…Whoever
bought all those Amazon gift certificates through the Surf Report
links yesterday… I hoist a frosty glass in your honor.In fact, I hoist one in honor of everyone
who supports TheWVSR.I
sincerely appreciate it!
