--Wotta mess.I wrote some
of this update yesterday, and never got around to posting it.But some of it’s from today...So, in an attempt to cut down on the confusion, I’ll put a
(Y) in front of the chunks where the date-written seems relevant.OK?Let’s roll…
--(Y) I'm driving to
Syracuse this morning for the Sunshine hand-off, so I have very little
time for "comedy."Also, I have no idea what the rest of the week might bring.
Sunny's going to be here, but the
Secrets won't; they'll be in school every day, and both have a metric
shitload of evening activities to attend.Plus, Toney works and takes computer classes at night.So what the hell, man?It's
just going to be me and Toney's mother??
I can already feel a charley horse building in the wall of my poop
chute.
--Indeed, Sunshine is
alone at our house this very moment, and I’m at the library hunched
over a laptop.Is that
rude?I have a nagging
concern that it might be, but I don’t think I care all that much.After yesterday, I’m pretty much beyond caring.
I’ll tell you about yesterday’s adventure as soon as possible…
hopefully tomorrow.
--(Y) This is election
day up here in the Upper Perogie Belt, and I have an opinion about
something.Yes, I know
it's scary, but it's true.
Usually I just make a note of the
campaign signs in Half-Shirt's yard, and vote the opposite.But this time I actually know a few things, and feel a need to
take voterly action.
Now I just need to find the polling place, and figure out how to
operate a voting boof.
--I was joking about
finding the polling place, but it turned out to be true.It seems like they change the location every election.If I were a purveyor of conspiracy theories, I’d undoubtedly
be wondering if it’s done on purpose, to suppress the vote.
But I don’t have the energy to get myself all worked-up about things
I don’t fully understand (I seem to be in the minority), and instead
become determined to thwart the conspiracy -- if there is one.
Yesterday morning I drove to the church where we voted most recently,
and it was deader than Kelsey’s nuts. Clearly, they’d made yet another change.
So I swung past the old folks’ home where I also remember casting a
vote, and there was nothing but an old man sitting in front of a plate
glass window, slumped all the way over like he was folded in half.I wondered if someone had forgotten him there the previous
night, and gravity finally conquered his spine.
Grrr…I didn’t have
time to drive around town looking for the moving-target polling place,
so I temporarily gave up the fight.And when I returned from
Syracuse, I called the county elections commission (or whatever), and the
woman told me they were collecting votes this time at the school
administration building.
I asked her why they change it, every
single election, and she chuckled but didn’t actually speak any
additional words.
So I went to the administration building, and voted on a paper ballot
like it was 1934.I’m
not kidding, you took a pen and put a mark beside the names of people
you wanted to win, then slid the sheet of paper into a metal box.What is this, the Czech Republic??
But I voted, goddammit. And,
as usual, all my guys lost.
--At the urging of
NJGirl, I've added some music to the MySpace page.I thought long and hard (roughly twenty seconds) about what
should play as the page loads, and believe I've settled on an
appropriate theme song.
Check it out; I think it captures
the Surf Report mood quite nicely.And if it doesn't
play, try refreshing the page.It seems to be a tad unstable.
--(Y) I don't know why I
keep doing this to myself, but I watched a few minutes of Greta Van
Susteren again last night.And
what in the handheld heck is going on?!Are they now doing anthology cases, based on previous stories??
On last night's show they were talking about a new missing white girl
named PETERSON, who has a sister named CHANDRA.I mean, seriously.Are
we supposed to believe this is merely a coincidence?Was she last seen leaving a blues club, after watching a
performance by Willie "Natalee Holloway" Turner? Is that
what they're going to tell us next?
I've said it before, and think it's worth repeating: I believe the authorities need to keep an eye on that Van
Susteren chick.I have a
feeling she might be creating
the news, if you know what I mean.It might not be such a bad idea to do a little digging in
Greta’s backyard...
--And speaking of
cheap-ass television…I
don’t know who Roland "Dog" Chapman is, but based on
pictures I've seen over the past couple of days, I'm not exactly
shocked by his choice of words.I'm
no expert, but that dude looks like a racial slur waiting to happen.
Why all the amazement? Why not call a press conference because your
alarm clock went off this morning?
--(Y) I listened to part
of Clive Bull's show yesterday, and was surprised to learn that
British teenage girls also use the creaking door voice.How did it leap across the Atlantic? How does something like
that happen?!
I don’t much care for it; I have a big problem with the teenage
girl Inner Sanctum croak. I guess it's just one of my things.
--(Y) And I need to call it a day here.I'll leave you now with a Stealing Clive Bull's Topics topic.Yesterday he was having people call in and tell him what their
last cell phone text message was, verbatim.And it was surprisingly entertaining.
I don't do much texting, but mine was "That woman picked up the
meatballs."What's
yours?Use the comments
link to tell us about it, won't you?
--