A man who really
liked bowling, among other things
--I knew a guy in Atlantawho was really into
bowling.Oh, he wasn’t just
an enthusiastic member of a team, who looked forward to Tuesday league
night, and that sort of thing.No,
I mean he was really into
it.
In fact, you know those racks they have in bowling alleys, to hold the
balls?The ones that generally
line the wood paneled walls?Well,
he had one in his van.The
thing was always loaded up, and was customized so the balls couldn’t
escape while he drove.
At any given moment he might've been riding around the Atlantametro area with 25
professional-grade bowling balls in his vehicle.And those were just the ones in current rotation...He had lots more at home.
I mean, this guy loved bowling like the Chinese love lead.
Through an improbable series of events, he and I were once invited to
a meet ‘n’ greet with one of my all-time musical heroes:Paul
Westerberg.It was
sponsored by Westerberg’s record label, and only about twenty lucky
people were allowed to attend the thing.I was so excited I almost had a treatment
effect.
The label rented out a bowling alley (for some unknown reason), and
that’s where the “party” took place.Besides Westerberg and a rep from the record company, it was
the two of us, and a handful of laminate-sporting,
you-may-approach-the-throne record store geeks.And we were all huddled around the Great One, hanging on his
every sarcastic word.
Except for my friend, of course… who bowled the entire time.
I’m not joking.It was the
rarest of opportunities to sit at a table with a music legend, a
person who’s borderline reclusive, and just shoot the shit.For me, it was a dream come true.And this guy remained in the background throughout, rolling
strike after strike after strike, like some kind of machine.
He was also very defensive about bowling.He had all manner of “facts” that he’d break out whenever
he felt the sport was being slighted.He’d
say things like, “Are you aware that bowling three full games, with
an eighteen pound ball, puts as much as stress on the arm muscles as
lifting a Chevy Malibu?” and stuff like that.
Anyway, he went through a rough patch at one point, I think it had
something to do with his love life, and completely lost his shit.He had what I believe to be the only genuine nervous breakdown
I’ve ever witnessed with my own two eyes.
During this period he (temporarily) renounced bowling.And late one night he reportedly parked his van in the middle
of a bridge, and dropped bowling ball after bowling ball into the ChattahoocheeRiver.He emptied the entire rack, went home and got more, then
dropped them in as well.
And a few weeks later he was back to bowling, and buying new balls.Heh.
Not to make light of it (ahem), but what’s the most outrageous thing
you’ve ever seen a person do, following a romantic break-up?And let’s try to keep this one at least semi-humorous, OK?No suicide stories, or tales of mass-slaughter, please.
--A couple of nights ago I
went out drinking with a Surf Reporter, and received this
cap as a
gift.And, apparently, that’s
all I’m allowed to say on the subject…
--Toney and I used to watch Law
& Order SVU.We once thought
it was a good show.Then I
began renting Homicide from Netflix, and the whole thing was ruined.We can no longer enjoy L&O, because Homicide
has rendered it shitty.
Last week we saw a commercial for a new episode of SVU, with a guy from Veronica
Mars in it.So Toney
ordered the DVR to record it for us.We
hadn’t watched the program in a long, long time, but decided to give it
another shot.
And... it was shitty.
But check out what the mailman just brought me.It’s the entire series (the culprit of this unfortunate turn
of events), including the movie and all the L&O
cross-over episodes, in a nifty little file cabinet.I got a great deal on it through half dotcom, and my nipples
are exploding with delight.
--Speaking of nipples, this is
a current photo of Ellie Mae Clampett, at the age of 74.
And I’m going to call it a day.Before
I go, though, another quick question…My Norton subscription just ran out (again), and I think I’m
definitely going to dump them.
No, I'm serious this time.
So which free anti-virus program is better, AVG or Avast?Or is there another one I’m not familiar with?Help me out, won’t you?I’m
not giving Norton another penny.This is 2005, goddammit.
