June 21, 2007

-- This is it, my friends. We’re leaving for Myrtle Beach this afternoon, and should arrive mid-day on Friday. We’re breaking up the drive because it’s, you know, far. 

Toney made reservations at a Black Lips Houlihan-friendly motel somewhere in Virginia for tonight, and we’ll continue on from there. The campground where we’ll ultimately be staying is supposed to have my parents’ travel trailer all set up for us, with the air conditioner a-rockin’. And how great is that?

I can’t tell you how nice it’s going to be to make this trip without the rolling box o’ beds. I kinda like camping, but I hate most of the stuff that goes along with it. The packing… the hooking up… problems with the brake lights… a paralyzing fear of backing that bastard up… 

It’s a huge pain the ass, both east and west of the great divide. And dangerous too.

We almost had a propane tank fly off the camper once, while driving on the interstate. When we stopped to get gas we saw that it was only hanging on by a bungee cord. It looked like it was ready to go airborne and probably crash through someone’s windshield, before blowing up a smiling family singing “Row Row Row Your Boat.” 

And I can’t have that.

No, this year we’ll just be casually tooling down the highway in the comfort of my Camry, with Tom Petty on the stereo and a big ol’ sack of Jelly Bellys on the console. The way God intended.

I’ll have a full report when we get back. And, of course, I’ll have internet access tonight, and at the campground too. If anything super-exciting happens I’ll log onto the comments and tell you guys about it, straigh’ away.

In the meantime, any Southern micro-brews I need to know about? I’m ready to “sample” them all. ‘Cause I’m a man made for “sampling.”

-- I know this one is even shorter than the last update I apologized for, but I’ve got lots to do here. As is the custom, Toney is completely packed (for her and the kids) and I haven’t done shit. Well, I did bring my duffle bag up from the basement last night, so that’s a little progress. 

But I’d better get to it. I can tell the planets are starting to align against me. I should probably take preemptive action here…

If you need something to read while I’m away, here’s a travelogue of our pathetic first summer with the pop-up camper. The whole thing gives me a full-body shiver.

And, of course, you can also amuse yourselves by pre-ordering lots and lots of Surf Report t-shirts. There’s always that.

I spent a big part of yesterday afternoon working on a Special Report, and I’m going to try to have that finished before we leave today as well. So, watch for it here, and at the red link above today’s date on the homepage.

Is Myrtle Beach known as the Redneck Riviera? Or is that someplace in Florida? Do you guys know anything about it? Sometimes I get all mixed-up on the dismissive sarcasm. Can you help a brutha out?

Oh, and in addition to beer suggestions, what can you tell me about fireworks? Have they come up with anything new during the past 25 or so years that I need to know about? Or should we just stick with the tried and true bottle rockets and firecrackers?

And just in case this update isn't disjointed enough, here's an interview with the voice of Spongebob.

See ya later.




home>>

Last updated
01/17/12 12:13 PM

PRE-ORDER
WVSR T-SHIRTS!

The Best of TheWVSR.com
Hey, everything's relative

Further Evidence
The end is near

TheWVSRcam
A live camera inside the Surf Report bunker

Smoking Fish Sightings
Our logo gets around

The Mountain
The evidence is starting to pile up

Ads vs. Reality
Shiny, neon-orange, liquefied pump-cheese, and all

Black Box Stew
Who would you like to see go down in that next big air disaster?

Rules of Thumb
Things that are true

Archives
Old issues of the terrible paper zine

Dispatches From The Bunker
Join the mailing list!