June 19, 2007

-- We were in a local restaurant a few nights ago for dinner, and I found a hunk of metal in my fish samlich. I was a-smilin’ and a-chewin’ when I detected something in there that didn’t feel quite right. 

Luckily I didn’t chomp down on it full-out, but just enough to realize the shit wasn’t going to be very forgiving. Concerned, I hawked everything into my hand, and started picking through the grossness with a steak knife. 

It looked like a short length of heavy wire, folded into a circle. What the?! Was the fish hook still in that thing? Talk about fresh!

I showed it to the waitress and she was practically doing back-flips of apology. Over and over again she said she was sorry. But I wasn’t blaming her. Heck, I wasn’t even all that upset about it. I probably would’ve been if one of my molars had exploded. But, as it turned out, it wasn’t the end of the world.

She wouldn’t let it drop though, and vowed to get to the bottom of it. And, true to her word, she reported back in ten or fifteen minutes. They believed, she said, it was a metal clasp from a plastic bag of breading that somehow got into the food. 

Then she apologized about twenty more times, and promised to knock our bill way down (which she did), and that was the end of it.

Years ago I was in a Cajun restaurant in Atlanta . It was one of those funky hipster joints where they don’t have an alcohol license, so people bring their own coolers of beer or whatever. Also none of the tables or plates match… You know the kind of place I’m talking about.

But the food was great there, and I was tearing my way through an outsize bowl of jambalaya when I noticed a beetle in amongst the goodness. A freakin’ bug.

Mildly grossed-out, I called the waitress over and – get this – she accused me of putting it there myself. Instead of being apologetic, she was accusatory and belligerent.

I said, “Let me get this straight… You think I travel around the city with a pocket full of bugs, scamming free meals?”

If I’d been Mr. Krabs my arms would’ve fallen off.

She snatched my bowl away and disappeared, eventually re-emerging with news that our meals would be on the house. But her tone and expression told us, loud and clear, that she didn’t agree with the decision. She still suspected I was responsible for the insect being in my food.

I can’t believe it, even now. I’m getting pissed off all over again just thinking about it.

And one thing’s for sure… We never went back to that shitty dump. They had great food, but I’ll be damned if they ever got another penny from me. On the other hand, we’ll almost certainly return to the restaurant where I was served a goddamn keyring with my fish a few nights ago.

It all comes down to attitude.

Have you ever discovered a foreign object, or (gulp) substance, in restaurant food? Tell us about it, won’t you? How did it turn out? Were they apologetic about it, or did they give you grief? Use the comments link below.

And I know this one’s kinda short, but I’m gonna stop right there. 

In case you didn’t see it in yesterday’s update, I’m now taking pre-orders for the third edition West Virginia Surf Report t-shirt. There are several more sizes this time 'round, and I believe the prices are fair. 

I spoke briefly with the T-Shirt Lady today, and she said they should be ready to go by the end of next week. So get your orders in early, if you’re so inclined. Last time we sold out, and it turned into a real cluster-fornication.

Thanks to everyone who's already ordered!

See ya tomorrow.




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Last updated
01/17/12 12:13 PM

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