June 5, 2007

-- Yesterday’s job interview went perfectly well (I’m old and don’t make big mistakes anymore), except I’m not exactly what they’re looking for. And how do I know this? Because they told me so. Yep, we went through the entire process and they just laid their cards on the table, right there in front of me and on the very same day. 

While I was driving home I was focusing on all the negatives (of course), discarded the positives (needless to say), and was mildly pissed-off. I don’t have enough supervisory experience, they said, and am probably used to making more money than they’re willing to pay.

Ever had this kind of honesty at a job interview? Me either. And to tell you truth… I kinda like it. I was irritated immediately afterwards, but now appreciate knowing exactly the way they feel. I’m not sitting here today trying to read between the lines, and wondering what the inflection of certain words meant, etc. 

Sure, their bluntness was a bit disconcerting, but I wish everyone would do it that way. It removes most of the maddening mystery that surrounds the process, and lets you know where you stand. If they call me in for a second interview it’ll be totally unexpected, and there’s value in knowing it.

As Wilt Chamberlain used to say, “Next!”

-- There was much made of the fact that I showed up wearing a suit yesterday. The woman who interviewed me mentioned it two or three times, including once in front of a whole roomful of people. Apparently they’re not used to that sort of thing… If I get called in for a second go-round, I might get one of these deals and see what happens.

-- We’re scheduled to spend a week in Myrtle Beach later this month, and I’m busy planning our road music. In addition to the old standbys, I’m proud to announce that we’ve added two new entries this year. This one, and this one . I believe they’ll both prove to be outstanding assets to the team, and I welcome them to the lineup!

-- The Surf Report was mentioned at MSNBC yesterday, and USA Today today. God save the queen.

I remember years ago, when I lived in Greensboro, I was flipping through an issue of Penthouse, and came across (so to speak) an article about the “new underground press.” They were talking about zines but didn’t seem to know the term yet. 

As I continued reading, my eyes almost tumbled from their sockets when I saw the words West Virginia Surf Report. My pitiful little periodical was mentioned in the pages of Penthouse! I was excited for days and wanted to tell the world.

And I couldn’t tell hardly anyone. My girlfriend in West Virginia? Are you kidding? And admit that I’d been sitting around looking at glossy photographs of vaginas? My parents? Nope. The people at work? I don’t think so. 

I told some of my friends, of course, but it turned out to be a rather frustrating turn of events.

-- I’m not sure I have this exactly right, but they’re running a new campaign here in PA to try to convince people to use their seatbelts. I’m almost certain the slogan they’re using is: Click It, Or We’ll Kick It. And By It We Mean Yo Azz. 

Can that possibly be correct?

-- Buck has gone above and beyond the call of duty (again), and secured for us our very first endorsement deal. And how kool is that?

-- Everybody’s doing lists these days, it appears, and most seem to be bullshit expelled from a half-ass. But this one’s pretty good, I think. I’ve seen ten of these movies, how ‘bout you? Tell us, won’t you?

-- And once my ship comes in I’m going to contact these folks and talk to them about possibly turning the Surf Report bunker into a hidden chamber. If they can do it, I’d like the secret doorway to open when Nostrils’ hidden Christmas cookie is removed from my CD rack.

-- Finally, here’s yet another Smoking Fish sighting, this time at the freakin’ equator! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: our logo, man, he gets around. 

Thanks for pic, Nathan! I appreciate it.

And I’m gonna stop right there. I received my new laptop battery yesterday and I’ve already tossed the old one into the nearest fresh water aqueduct. My European manbag  was delivered a few days ago as well, so I’m completely ready to embrace Pretentious Bastard culture.

If you need me this afternoon I’ll be the one at the corner table at Panera wearing a massive WVU t-shirt, and trying to get his head literally inside a bread bowl.

I have no real question for you folks today, so I’ll just pull one straight out my riffled ass. Have you ever got choked on something, to the point of being scared for your life? Have you ever been somewhere where the Heimlich maneuver was performed? How much distance did they get on the meatball? 

Tell us about it, won’t you? Let’s hear all your choking stories today, every one of ‘em. Use the comments link below.

And I’ll try to do better tomorrow, but don’t make any promises.

See ya then.

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Last updated
01/17/12 12:13 PM

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