Holy
crap in a Bundt pan...
Due to the
recent well-publicized shortage of
amateur websites produced by assholes who consider themselves to be
clever, I
have been called into action. My name is Jeff Kay, and I’m an
Ugly American living
on the cusp of a mid-life crisis, near Scranton, PA. And I’m here to
serve, baby.
The
State of My Fat Ass A journal of
sorts, updated every once in a while.
--Yesterday was fun.But I
still haven’t heard anything about the job opening, and that situation weighed
heavily on my mind all day.
Following the third interview
on Monday (all three combined totaled seven hours) they said they would
be making a decision soon, and I’d receive a phone call on Tuesday or
Wednesday – one way or the other.
And now it’s Friday, and I haven’t heard a thing.It’s driving me right up to the brink of insanity.
Toney believes they offered it to somebody else, and that person
hasn’t accepted yet.So
they’re stringing me along in case the answer is no.That makes the most sense of all the scenarios I’ve cooked-up
inside my head over the past few days, but it doesn’t exactly give me
a warm and fuzzy feeling.Ya
know?
Hell, for all I know, it might be another of their "tests."
Those folks are big on "tests."
One thing I do know.After the mail is delivered, I’m calling ‘em.I’ll wait until the mail gets here, in case there’s a Dear
Jeff letter in there.But
after that they’re receiving a person-to-person call straight from the
Surf Report Compound.This
can’t drag-out over a weekend, or I’ll end up in a state hospital
laughing hysterically at a bread tie.
--I tried my best not to
drone on and on about it yesterday, for Steve’s sake.But I think I checked my cell phone for messages roughly 100
times.It pisses me off that
I wasn’t able to fully submit to
the Baseball Hall of Fame, but that’s the way it goes, I guess.
Last time I toured the museum the place was packed.But since school is still in session, and we went on a Thursday
this year, we had plenty of elbow room.It was nothing short of excellent.
We were able to linger at certain displays, and take it all in, instead
of having assholes breathing down our necks and willing us out of their way.There’s
so much to see in that place you could visit it over and over again and
discover something new every time.
It was nice not to be rushed for a change.
After we finished with the Hall itself, we went to a few of the baseball
memorabilia shops that line
Main Street
, and I bought a t-shirt somewhere, and a milk shake.Steve picked up a scary-ass Cal Ripken bobble-head doll, with a
head that’s roughly life-sized.I
didn’t even want to look at that thing; I’m almost certain it winked
at me a few times. Shit!
Unfortunately, I can’t remember anything of note to report to you now
(can you tell my mind is elsewhere?).But
here are a bunch of pictures I snapped during the day, and
hopefully they’ll give you a flavor of the place.
--Before I turn it over to
Brad, a couple of quick things...
I did indeed win the auction for Sunshine & Mumbles on Wednesday,
but I had to go all the way up to their price limit.As expected, there was a flurry of activity during the final two
minutes, and it almost got away from me.
When I told Sunny the news she wasn’t exactly thrilled.She didn’t understand how the price stayed the same for two
days, then rocketed upwards by $150 in five minutes.I tried to explain it to her, but the voices inside her head were
apparently drowning me out.
Whatever.The strap-on
oxygen tanks will be hers, and
she’ll now be able to go on spacewalks inside Burlington Coat Factory.Pass the beer nuts.
Also… Toney woke me up at 5 am
today, and told me the downstairs toilet had overflowed – big time.I said OK, and turned over to face the opposite direction.But apparently she wanted me to get up.At
five o’clock
in the morning!
With great effort, I went downstairs and there was water everywhere.The hell, man?!It
was all the way out into the hallway, and the carpet was soaked.
Luckily nothing had been deposited into the shit funnel before the
mishap occurred.Toney said
she went in there and the water was real high in the bowl(?!), and it
looked like there was shredded toilet paper swirling around.So she flushed it and there was a strange bloop sound, then everything went downhill from there.
We both spent at least thirty minutes on water-removal duty (before even
an ounce of coffee was
consumed), and the carpet is still slushy.It never freakin’ stops.
--Here’s something new
and good from Brad, and I’m calling it a day.I’ve got more, but screw it.If I get any news about the job, I’ll post it in the comments.
