--On Saturday we had some things to do.In the morning we needed to go to the youngest Secret’s
basketball game (or as a co-worker in Atlantaused to call it:baksetball).Plus, the oldest Secret was starting to look like Bobby
Brady, and Toney wanted to take him for a haircut.I mean that shit was WAY overdue…
I was lobbying for lunch at Five Guys (ahem).And neither of the younglings had an adequate piece of
luggage for our upcoming trip, so we were going to try to remedy
that situation as well.
You know, just your standard weekend catch-up boolshit…
I figured it would be a perfect opportunity to take my tiny new
camera along for its maiden voyage, and slipped it into my jacket
pocket.Maybe I’d get lucky
and capture a few interesting shots during our travels?
First stop after baksetball was the mall, for the emergency haircut
procedure.The place was
packed, of course, and they told us it would be at least a thirty
minute wait.So I told Toney
I was going to wander around, and she could call my cell phone
when they were finished.The
younger Secret announced he was going with me, and we got the hell
out of there.
We were just strolling along, with no real destination in mind, when
we came upon a stand that sells hats.It’s one of those deals that sit out in the middle of the
walkway, not an actual store.Know
what I mean?And I noticed
they had a baseball cap that I simply must
own.I considered buying it on the spot, but it was shockingly
expensive and I didn’t have the heart for such a transaction.
But I remembered my camera, and snapped this
photo.Is that excellent?I
submit that it is.
We kept poking around there, and I saw they had a fake rooster, or
chicken or whatever, up on the roof of their stand.So I took a quick picture of that, as well.Here it is, in case you should care.
We continued walking, and I bought a medium Dr. Pepper for the two
of us to share, at a Nathan’s hotdog stand.And a few minutes after I purchased the drink there was
suddenly a hostile woman, looking like every angry-ass school
teacher scold I’ve ever encountered in my life, all up in my face.
She was giving me a whole river
barge of shit about taking
pictures inside the mall.“It’s
forbidden!” she kept hollering, and her attitude told me she
wanted to argue about it.Instinctively
I went in the opposite direction; I shrugged, said “Yeah, big
deal,” and tried to walk away.
But she wouldn’t stop.She
just kept yammering at me, like one of those yappin’ dogs, about
how the mall doesn’t allow people to take pictures, and I was in
direct violation of the rules, blah blah blah.
Hell, I don’t even know who she was.Mall security?She
certainly wasn’t dressed for the part.A manager at one of the stores?A hyper-busy body civilian? I simply don’t know.
But I finally got away from her, and immediately I was kicking
myself.Man, I should’ve
calmly removed the camera from my pocket, and snapped a picture of
her in mid-snarl.How great
would that have been?The
flash going off, and everything…
Of course, I probably would’ve been escorted from the building by
a gang of beer-gut security guards.And
they would’ve dragged me past various neighbors and a few of
Toney’s co-workers.And I
would’ve been yelling something like, “What
is this communist Russia?!When a tax-paying citizen can’t take a picture of a chicken
at a hat store…”
So, it’s probably best I handled it the way I did.
--My boss called yesterday,
and asked me to come in early for an unscheduled meeting.I asked what it was about, of course, and was given the
cryptic answer, “We just want to go over a few things with you.”
We?!I didn’t care for it,
I didn’t care for it t’all.I had visions of the “sudden unemployment and eggs”
breakfast my former employer treated me to last March.So I spent the next few hours trying to think of possible
grievances they might have against me. And even after I came up
empty, I still couldn’t fully relax.
But it was nothing.They want
me to start doing employee reviews, and tracking productivity, and
that kind of thing.So, I was
relieved… and a little irritated.Why
the non-answer when I asked about the subject of the meeting?Why was that necessary?Were
they screwing with my head for sport?
Or am I just being overly paranoid at this point?I guess anything’s possible…
--Do any of you remember
this show?You know, since
most of you were born in the ‘60s and ‘70s…
--And be sure to check out
this bizarreness.The voice
actors from Spongebob
overdubbed themselves reading the dialog from three classic movie
scenes.It was apparently
made for some kind of awards show, or convention, or something, and
wasn’t meant for public consumption.It’s already been yanked from YouTube, so it might not be
around for long.... Good
stuff.
--Speaking of funny… I
took the liberty of breaking multiple copyright laws and uploading
one of my favorite Phil Hendrie segments to a new (to me, anyway)
service called DivShare.There,
you can either download the mp3 file, or simply stream it through
your computer.
The segment features Korean War veteran Lloyd Bonafide, talking
about a song he wrote called “I Gotta Rock.”His conversation near the end, with a caller named Trebaca,
is freakin’ hilarious.
--And finally, for my fellow
Replacements fanatics, I’ve got three quality links for your
enjoyment today.Here,
here, and
here.My nipples are
exploding with delight…
Have yourselves a wonderful Tuesday, my friends, and I’ll see you
on Wednesday!
