--Apparently we’re going to take a swift kick to the crotch
tonight, and will find ourselves shoveling a metric shitload of snow
off the driveway tomorrow morning.They’re
closing the schools preemptively, the skies are getting grayer and
grayer, and I have a feeling there’s not a single loaf of bread or
gallon of milk available for purchase throughout the entire Perogie
Belt.
And here’s a little prediction for y’all:I will drive to work this afternoon, thirty miles on slick
roads, with my sphincter cinched off so tight I’ll have to swallow
a handful of aspirins when I arrive.And when I get there I’ll learn that people in my
department, some of whom live roughly a hundred yards away from the
place, “couldn’t make it in.”
So, it’ll be me and the other two management suckers working our
asses off like longshoreman.Then
I’ll get to drive home at 2:30 AM, my
spine in full distress, not able to see what’s road and what’s
median.Then I’ll end up
taking a wrong turn and spending the night submerged in a snowdrift
in New
Hampshire, or
someplace, with my back wheels suspended directly above my front wheels.
We’ll just have to wait and see how it goes.
--Over the weekend Toney and
I watched the latest episode of LOST
twice.In fact, we’ve
watched both new episodes two times each, because there’s just so
much to take in.I can’t
remember us ever caring so much about a TV show, as to take such
drastic action.
I also succumbed to peer pressure, and tried to play Guitar Hero.The Secrets kept trying to talk me into it, and I resisted
for as long as I could.I
just knew I’d suck eggs on a rope, and I was correct.
The oldest youngling set it on “Slow Ride” by Foghat (he claims
this is the simplest song), and chose the EASY setting.I strapped on the guitar, already feeling like a douche, and
waited for the notes to come rolling down the line.
Then it was:FLANK!FLANKA-FLANK!!Slow
ride, take it easy…FLANK!FLANK!FLANK!Slow ride, sleeeeazy…FLANKETY-FLANK
AFLANK ….booooooo!boooooooo!
The fuckers booed me off the stage!And
my animated character slinked away in disgrace.The Secrets were buckled over in laughter, and I removed my
novelty guitar and left as well.
Lots of fun.I can certainly
see the appeal of that game.
I also had a few ice cold Yuenglings on Saturday, without the excuse
of Nancybeing
here.But only two or three;
I was very careful.I seem to
have a tendency to get carried away with it…
And Steve called me on Saturday (or was it Sunday?) and told me he
bought us a pair of tickets to see the Eels in Philadelphia, in
March.The show is supposed
to happen at a
UnitarianChurch(could
that possibly be correct?!), two days after we return from England.
We had no previous conversation about this, so hopefully I’ll be
able to go.I think Steve’s
an even bigger Eels fan than I am, and I’m a big Eels fan.I guess he didn’t want to take any chances on the thing
selling out, so he pulled the trigger the moment he found out about
it.
I hope we can work it out.‘Cause
I want to see E perform “Motherfucker” from the pulpit.
Before I launch into an extravaganza of links, as required by
Bloggers Union, Local 514, I have some good news to report:my memory card FINALLY arrived from Amazon today.
I ordered a new camera and 2GB of memory at the exact same time.The camera arrived the next day(!), and the memory got here eleven
days later.
Man, I got myself whipped into a crazed frenzy, every time the
mailman arrived without my Amazon box.Andy and I were both
going ass-over-tits.But
it’s finally here, and hopefully we’ll soon see an upgrade in
the quality of cruel mockery here at TheWVSR.
And may God continue to bless the United
States of America.
--Now here’s a photo Lucas
sent, of him(?!) wearing his fashionable new Smoking Fish cap…?Yeah, I’m not real clear on what’s happening there, but I
can tell you this much:it
frightens me a little.
--And Surf Reporter Jay sent
me two fancy-ass bottles of something called MonaVie.Here’s their website.Supposedly
it’s incredibly healthy stuff, and might help with my brittle and
exploding Fritos fingernails.Thanks,
man!That’s truly going
above and beyond.
--Neil H. sends along this
New Yorker cartoon, which he apparently believes resembles life here
at the Surf Report Compound.Not
sure what to make of that one…
--And Brad sent me a link to
a TV commercial, which features cool animation
and
music by the Velvet Underground.Here
it is.Do you know anything
about this?It’s gotta be
foreign, right?No way
something that hip would ever make it to the air in this country...Or am I selling ourselves short?
--Here’s the only
surviving film footage of Mark Twain. Huh. He walked exactly like my
friend Vincent...
--And finally, we’ve got
something new from…Metten!Oh yeah.It’s been a
while, but it was worth the wait.You
don’t want to miss it.
I’ll see you guys tomorrow, I hope.
Holy shit, it’s already snowing like something off Doctor
Zhivago
out there…I can feel an
ever-so-gentle tightening of the drawstring.Wish me luck, folks, I might need it.
