--As I sit here in my gargantuan “sleep pants,” listening
to Wilco (best album of the year?), and sipping Dunkin Donuts coffee
from a mug purchased at Weaver D’s Delicious Fine Foods in Athens,
GA (“Automatic For The People”), I find myself reflecting on the
just-ended 2007.
It was a strange year for me.Not
bad really, just strange.
I lost my job in March, and didn’t see it coming.Oh, I knew the industry wasn’t healthy.But I was sure I’d be able to squeeze out five, possibly
ten, more years.When I was
given the news at a breakfast “meeting,” over expense-account
eggs, I felt like somebody punched me in the gut.Then I was home, without really remembering how I got there.
This led to eight months of blasting out resumes like a professional
spammer, trussing myself up in a fraudulent suit and going on
interviews, rifling through newspaper want ads, and raising my voice
at internet job sites.The
whole process sucked with the intensity of a thousand suns...
During this Summer of Not Belonging, I started toying with the idea
of making money through TheWVSR.Previously
I’d treated it as nothing more than a hobby, but several people
told me I could make real foldin’ cash with it -- if I played my
cards right.
They said I should “monetize” the site, or else I’d be
“leaving money on the table,” and that sort of thing.Such jaunty little shop-talk phrases make me cringe, of
course, but I liked the sentiment just fine.I’d love nothing more than to actually make a living off
this crap.
So I studied more than I’ve studied since my baseball card
obsession of 1975 thru 1980.(Notice
I didn’t say high school or college?)I learned a lot about Google Adsense, search engine
optimization, and affiliate programs.I redesigned the site, and tried a lot of different things
– some of which ticked a few of you off.Remember Amazon context links?
And a funny thing happened:I
started making money.Oh, not
enough to support the fambly, or anything like that.But during 2005 and 2006 I was proud that the site was
self-sufficient; I’d made enough to cover my hosting and domain
fees, and to even buy some office equipment for the bunker.And not a cent had come from my pocket, which was a big deal.
But in 2007 I didn’t even have to tap my paychecks for spending
money.Without dramatically
increasing traffic, the site was now paying for my gas, my beer, my
used CD habit, my waddling-around money… everything.It was amazing to me, and gave me hope.
Of course, we also have to pay our mortgage and utilities, and
nit-picky bullshit like that.So
I still needed a job.And
when one came along with unusual hours, which would theoretically
allow me to continue working on the site and other related projects,
I started campaigning for it.
I risked making a fool of myself and blowing the whole thing, by
going over-the-top with aggressiveness.But I was eventually offered the position, and so far it’s
working out reasonably well.
During 2007 I also signed an agreement with an honest-to-goodness
literary agency in New York.They now have the right to sell my first two, gulp,
books.And that’s something
that still blows my mind.I
don’t even like to talk about it, for fear of jinxing something…
In the spring I wrote a review for something called the KFC
Famous Bowl.I’d
noticed that the real item looked nothing
like the ad I’d seen for it on TV.So I took a picture of it, and compared it to a photo on the
KFC website.The results were
so dramatic I expanded it and created a stand-alone page, where I
compared Ads vs. Reality.
That, of course, turned out to be a mini-phenomenon (who can predict
what’s going to catch on?!), earning the Surf Report hundreds of
new links, thousands of drive-by visitors, mentions on morning radio
shows, in newspapers, and national magazines like Rolling
Stone.The photos are now regularly stolen, and can be seen all over
the internet without attribution.
Good stuff.
Yeah, and I also tried a few things that didn’t work out quite so
well.Letters
to Dairy Queen, for instance.Although
I’m not ready to completely
give up on it, the reaction to that one wasn’t what I’d hoped
for.I mean, seriously.
And a longtime reader sent me an email a few weeks ago, telling me
I’m not funny anymore(!!).Which,
of course, I obsessed about for days on end.Just ask Toney.Or
Brad.Or the guy at the
credit union.
So it wasn’t all
bongos and blowjobs.But
overall 2007 was a very good year for the West Virginia Surf Report.It’s too early to tell if it was a good one for me personally,
or for our family, but I’m reasonably sure we’re back on track
here.
And one final thing before I wrap-up this wrap-up…Almost from day one I’ve believed this site attracts some
of the best readers around.I
don’t know why, and wouldn’t begin to take the credit.But it happens to be true, and is something I cherish.
Last year we lost two Surf Reporters – Greg Beck and Blitz Kreig
– and even though I never met either of them face to face, I mourned their
deaths like close friends.Both
were remarkable individuals, and the world is a little less funny
and warm without them.
I’m not very good at this kind of thing (I’ve been accused of
being unfeeling),
but I appreciate you guys more than you know.River Phoenixis probably
better at answering emails at this point, but I know what’s
important.And our thriving
little community of ridiculousness is the thing that makes me the
proudest, and keeps me going.
As that great philosopher Ozzy sometimes says, I love you all.
Thanks to Buck, Brad, Metten, lakrfool, and the Angry White Guy for
their stellar contributions (and friendship) throughout the past
year.And thanks to everyone
who stops by here on a daily, or semi-daily, basis.
I raise a chipped Burger Chef dinosaur glass in your honor!And tomorrow we’ll officially kick off another year.
