I swear to God, it's like living in a foreign country up here.  People at work eat these horrifying things and they smell exactly like feet.  

If this is what it takes, I'll just stay fat.  At least a shred of dignity remains buried under the blubber somewhere.

If you held a gun to my temple I wouldn't be able to tell you what these things are used for.  Not even if my life depended on it.

Holy crap.  You'd have to unlatch your jaw like a snake.  Look at the one on the right!

Radio Shack continues to lead the way with the latest technology.

How does a chubby woman blowing ass sell slacks?

A magazine rack for the bathroom?  Classy.  It's like taking a crap at the Vanderbilt's

Man, I'm so psyched for the Winter Olympics.  I can't wait for them to start.

Remember when drug stores just sold aspirin and shit?