-- Would a “Big Lots” game be too cruel? Why not rename the place “Inbreds R Us” for God’s sake. I swear I actually feel dirty after exiting the place, but I also feel more handsome and less hickish.

-- Best blog: www.tequilamockingbird.blogspot.com A WV girl currently living in D.C. Great writer. It’s worth spending the time to read the archives. I’ve been trying to figure out (by reading the archives) of where exactly she is from, where she went to high school, etc. I think she went to Dupont or East Bank, graduated in about 1986, and has family still in that area. I’d appreciate any effort from loyal Surf Report readers to further identify this person. (I could email her, but that kinda takes the fun out of it, ya know?)

-- Goal for the year: Lose enough weight so that I can look good enough to wear a dress for the annual hash run through the streets of Morgantown. I’ve been too jiggly the past couple of years to participate. Man breasts are NOT meant to be flaunted.

-- During the year I watch the following sports on TV: English Premier League Soccer, several nights a week on FOX Sportsworld, the Tour de France in July on OLNTV, and Formula 1 racing on SPEED. No U.S. sports at all. Free agency killed professional sports for me. Yes, I’m different.

-- I believe guys should keep their fingernails fairly short, but not to the point where it compromises booger picking.

-- The son of a friend of mine was ridiculed this past summer at a church camp for wearing “tighty whities” instead of boxers. I need to rethink my undergarment position.

-- Here’s my kid’s for ya:

Looking at lettering in a window display………….

Joey: “That says dog.”

Wife: “No, that says God.”

Joey: “What’s that mean?”

Wife: “……..well it’s hard to explain……..”

Sean: “I know. I know. Like Goddammit!”

Write Rocky at rocky26501@yahoo.com