March 18, 2004

I hate to disappoint those of you middle-aged men who think that a 20-something female has nothing better to do than throw slumber parties and grope her unsuspecting friends.  As much as I hate to attempt to even understand the male psyche, I do have a bit of disappointing news...my updates are not for those of you who hope to see proof of your lesbian fantasies. Not all women have fondled each other or even thought of another woman in a sexual way.  Disappointing, I know.

But this leads me to another subject that has had me all fired up this month.  What is the big deal about gay marriage??  Seriously, I don't get it.  In my mind, whether or not a gay man or woman is allowed to
marry has no bearing on the heterosexual lifestyle.  I just don't see the big deal.  Perhaps I feel this way because for about a year in college, I did live with two lesbians.  For those of you wondering, no we did not video tape each other and no I did not catch them having sex.  But I did learn a lot.

For a long time they tried to hide it from me.  I don't know why they thought that I'd believe they just shared a bed for the sake of letting me have my own room.  I went along with it for the most part until one night we all got shitty drunk and I called them out.  I told them that I had known all along and I didn't care.  After that I saw all the lesbian kisses I could handle.  I know you guys are jealous!!

Go Mountaineers!!  I saw the other day that an ESPN poll has ranked the Mountaineers #12 in their pre-season poll.  Now I'm anxious for football season to start.  Last year was riddled with drunken rants from my boyfriend, Adam.  Like most twenty-something men he likes to get sloppy drunk during the big games. Last year, it was the Miami and Virginia Tech games. During both games he got so drunk that he threw up on the bedroom floor and tried to piss in a corner.

I don't get that...most guys I know have at one time or another pissed themselves when they were drunk. This has happened to Adam several times.  One night about two years ago, I woke up and he was pissing in the corner.  Another time he actually pissed the bed with me in it.  I woke up screaming, "Adam, stop it!! You're pissing on me!!"  I kept hitting him but he just rolled over and mumbled that he wasn't doing anything.  I was, literally, pissed!!  I jumped up, ripped the sheets off the bed and threw them in the washer.  I went to sleep with my roommate in her bed and left Adam sprawled out, naked, on the bare mattress in my room.  My roommate woke up later that morning and got quite the sight.  There was Adam, still sprawled out naked on the bed with the ceiling fan swirling above him.

I have now been at my second job at the grade school for about a month.  Already I've had enough of these whining babies.  I have to help them with their homework each day but this is proving to be quite a challenge.  One boy, I think, has ADD or something. He's in the first grade but can't or won't read.  I can't figure out which it is.  Each day, we sit there and I attempt to get him to read the directions to whatever problems he has to do.  Instead, he continually hits himself in the head and grunts.  As my grandma says, sometimes I just want to shake the shit out of him.  This kid refuses to do anything but misbehave and I swear he's about to push me over the edge.  I'm now known as mean Miss Randi.  

Well, I'm off for a weekend of fun.  Feel free to comment or criticize at randiwvu@yahoo.com


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