February 27, 2004

A few of you have mentioned that I'm not angry enough so I've decided to dedicate this column to some of my festering annoyances.  First of all, I hate it when people attempt, and I use that term loosely, to criticize another person but in turn get the facts all fucked up.  For those of you who didn't catch it the first time around, I'm 25 years-old not 24.  And while that isn't old in numerical terms, I have expressed that I FEEL old.  Why do I feel so old??  I have my 21 year-old brother living with me who views me as perpetual MAC machine.  Every other week I'm expected to spit out $20 for him to borrow for gas money. Don't get me wrong, he pays this money back.  It's just the principle that irks me.  Secondly, I don't expect to make $60-thousand a year.  Hell, I'd be content with $20-thousand.  But seeing as how I spent four years in college, I think I deserve to make more than a fucking McDonald's hamburger-flipper.  Further contributing to this annoyance, I have been forced to take on a second job just so I can pay my bills.  I
realize I am not the only person to be forced to do this.  There's just a part of me that holds to the idealistic belief that someday I, too, can find a job where I won't have to wake up at 3 a.m. and work until
6 o'clock in the evening.

That being said, I am growing ever more frustrated with my current job.  I spent three and a half hours in a meeting last week listening to residents drone on about the threat terrorists MIGHT pose to a gas well in Charleston, WV.  Sorry folks, I think Osama Bin Laden and his terrorist network may want to focus on bigger things, say the chemical plants down the river!! 

As if this weren't enough, I came out to my car to find some asshole parked, literally, 2 inches away from my car.  As I tried to wedge myself between the two vehicles I found I could move no further because the front and back of my knees were touching both vehicles.  What the fuck!!  Who parks like this!?!  I was forced to enter through the passenger door and climb over the console into the driver's seat.  After I was securely in my seat, I opened my door and
repeatedly banged it into the car beside me. Fuckers!! 

Many of you are also probably wondering why my 21 year-old brother lives with me.  I, being the upstanding sibling that I am, opted to let him move in after he discovered he could no longer afford to live in West Palm Beach, FL on his own.  He didn't want to move back in with my parents which I completely understand so I thought he could move in with me and in turn help me pay rent.  For the most part this
arrangement has worked out well.  We tend to get along and unlike someone had mentioned before, I'm sorry to report, we do not fuck. 

Someone once told me that I am the Ziggy cloud.  I didn't believe this until this past weekend.  On my way home from Wheeling, I got a flat tire.  Apparently Adam had driven over a screw and got it wedged in the tire.  That caused a whole fiasco I'd rather not go into right now but both of us managed to remain relatively calm during the whole process. 

On Monday, I returned home to start fixing dinner and I looked down and there on the floor next to the garbage can was a puddle of water.  I thought our cat had pissed everywhere so I punished her.  Adam cleaned up the mess as I proceeded to fix dinner.  I look over
a few minutes later and there's more piss on the floor.  Finally we opened the cabinet under the sink and found everything under there to be sopping wet. The pipe had sprung a leak and everytime we turned on the water it spouted out everywhere.  Nice way to begin the week, huh!!  Thankfully, we don't own our place and our landlord fixed it right away.

And this, of course, is sure to piss loads of people off.  I've noticed there's been a lot of talk about Outkast lately.  I have to admit, I'm a fan and not because they've been thrust into the mainstream. They're offering up something different.  For those of you who haven't listened to their CD, at first listen it's a compiled bunch of crap.  After listening to it a few more times, it became more and more funny...like a compilation of musical skits.  There's one song on the CD that I could listen to over and over again...I think it may be called Roses.  Check the lyrics out here. Call me immature but there's just something funny about actually singing about shit stinking.  As usual,
for those of you who'd like to comment or criticize, you can e-mail me at randiwvu@yahoo.com


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