June 4, 2004

Well, I'm back from my excursion to Myrtle Beach and what a trip it was.  I forgot just how much I like to drink and go out and be lazy. 

I was fairly apprehensive about the trip at first.  I went with my two best friends, Alex and Karri, Karri's cousin, Ann and Karri's friend, Casey.  Alex, Karri, Ann and I have known each other at least since we were in the 7th grade but no one had ever met Casey.  She was a little stand-offish at first but once she found out that I like to drink as much as she does, we were okay.

When we first got there we all went grocery shopping. That was an experience I'd like to never relive. Despite my stomach surgery, I still eat like shit on occasion but Casey apparently doesn't eat anything unless it's organic...at least that's what she led us to believe in the store.  Part of me thinks she was just being a pain in the ass but we succumbed and let her buy her organic yogurt and carrots and the like. By the end of the trip she had stuffed cheese, Tostitos, and beer into the cart.  How this stuff fit into her organic lifestyle, I'll never know.  As we walked through the grocery store Ann and I caught up
on what's been happening in our lives through the years.  Now before I go onto this next part, Ann is a very pretty girl.  She's about 5'7", long dark hair, and dark doe-like eyes.  No, we didn't have sex. Anyway, we're walking and talking and right in mid-conversation she lets out a huge burp.  I mean, this is a Homer Simpson-caliber burp.  I was shocked and while I thought it was hilarious I didn't know what to say.  A woman in front of us turned around and said, "That's healthy."  What could we do but laugh. She proceeded to do this through the entire trip, no matter where we were.

Once back at the condo we started drinking and getting ready for our night out.  We took a cab to Broadway at the Beach and went to this bar called Blarney Stones. We had a shot of tequila and talked up some Scottish guys and then it was off to a more happenin' joint. We ended up at Club Boca which if I remember my Spanish correctly means Club Mouth.  Hmmm.  I know the saying that Myrtle Beach is the gathering place for everyone from West Virginia but I have to admit I was pretty surprised to see someone I knew right away.  We
chatted for a few minutes and then it was off to find some new friends.

Not many people were out that night so we headed back to the condo and went to the beach with a few more beers.  At this point things were getting a little blurry and I slightly remember rambling about what I wanted to do with my life.  Eventually everyone left but me and Alex.  We sat and talked for a while longer and after contemplating going in the ocean, we decided against it and headed back up to the room.  On the way back I couldn't find the shower-thingie to rinse off our feet so I dunked them in the pool.  And here's some drunk logic for ya...I figured that since my foot was already in the pool, I may as well go ahead and submerge my whole body.  There I was in 8 feet of water in all of my clothes.  Alex had some better judgment and took off her pants so she could just
swim in her underwear and a T-shirt.  I think it was about 4 a.m. at this point.  We weren't in the water long before we decided we'd better get out before we both drowned.  When we got back to the room we broke out the video camera.  We sat on the balcony and had another beer, as if we needed anymore at this point, and turned on the camera.  We watched the tape the next day and sure enough you couldn't see shit save for a big black spot and us rambling about some night vision.  How the hell anyone EVER understood what we were saying that night is anyone's guess. 

We spent the entire next day on the beach and decided it might be better to hang around the condo that night.  I think we just watched some TV and drank a bit although like I said the trip is a little blurry.

The next night Casey and I decided to go out.  No one else wanted to join us so we headed off to Fat Tuesday's.  It was the proverbial sausage party...guys wall to wall...unfortunate for them, lucky for us.  Of course, the only two guys I ended up talking to was a black truck driver from Orlando who swore I was going to go back to his truck with him and some other guy who just kept buying me drinks.  Ummm, yeah, okay.  As hard as it was, I had to turn them both down.  I went to find Casey and she had decided we'd go to an after-hours club with her new friend from WVU.  He seemed nice enough and since he was from WVU I decided it'd be alright for us to go.  The place was called the Red Room and I really don't remember much after that except getting another beer.  Eventually I think we made it into a cab and got home around 5 a.m.  I was told we raided the cabinets and made nachos and cheese and then slopped them all over the carpet.  I don't remember that part but apparently Alex had to clean it up the next morning.  Nice. 

The next day we decided to hit Ripley's Aquarium.  It was a nice place and a lot of fun but I advise you not to go on a hangover.  It wasn't bad until we hit the moving sidewalk part.  I seriously thought I was going to vomit all over the crowds in front of us.  After that it was off to a buffet.  Since my surgery I can't eat a whole lot but I decided to pay the $23 for the buffet anyway.  I get sick of explaining the procedure to everyone only to have a string of managers come out and make me explain it over again.  It was some good eats but unfortunately made me feel a bit queasy.  Of course, I don't think it had anything to do with the giant hurricane Alex and I both ordered just to get the Original Benjamin's pilsner glass.  I'm such a sucker for those advertising traps. 

Well, I'll let that be it for now and will bring you further up to date next week.  For now, I'm off to the swimming hole back here in West Virginia.  Oh, how I miss the beach.  As always, feel free to comment or criticize at randiwvu@yahoo.com  I'm out!!


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