April 8, 2004

This weekend I had the pleasure of frequenting what my friends call the "middle-aged" bar in town.  They convinced me that it'd be a good time and that it was great fun to watch all the middle-aged white trash dance to the local cover band.  I agreed to check it out.  It was a nice place and I have to admit I was impressed...until I sat down.  As soon as the waitress showed us to our table, two men sitting behind us, with whom I guessed to be their girlfriends or wives, yell, "Woo-wee, what did we do to deserve this view? Look at all them purty girls."  Nice!!

As is usual when I go out, I proceeded to get hammered.  Then on my way to the bathroom, a guy pulls me aside and asks me to embarrass his friend.  Yeah, okay buddy.  I declined and continued on my way.  When I got back he pulled me aside again and asked if I'd just talk with them.  I felt bad, so I did.  Turns out the guy is actually a sergeant at the regional jail. Not a bad job but he wasn't all that great looking either.  He later confides to me, after finding out that I have a boyfriend, that he was the one who liked me and not his friend.  He just couldn't think of anything better to say to me...as if what he did say was any better than a cheap, disgusting pick-up line.

The best part about this bar was the band, called, and I kid  you not, Straight Up.  It was made up of a man and a woman who we guessed were married.  A drummer, but who ever pays attention to the drummer and a guitar player and singer with a mullet.  The best part was that he played with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.  I guess he liked to pretend he was Keith Richards.  Anyway, the woman didn't have a bad voice and they did fairly good covers of those disastrous wedding reception songs like Brickhouse.  Then they hit the low point.  They started covering songs like Outkast's "I Like the Way You Move" and other Top 40 R&B songs.  It was hilarious and awful, all at the same time.  I definitely give this place 2 thumbs up and will most definitely return with my friends.

Also this weekend, I had the pleasure of getting my bridesmaid dress for my friend's wedding this summer. The people at this store were so stupid!!  First, the woman measured me wrong...it was more than 2 inches off.  I'm glad the seamstress double-checked.  Then we were waiting to pay for our dresses, and the same clerk was on the phone.  Apparently someone had called and asked where they were located.  She says, "Umm, we're on 10th Street."  My friend and I looked at each other and shook our heads.  I said aloud, "No, you're on 7th Avenue."  She laughed and said, "Oh yeah."  I ask, how stupid can you be?!?  I'm not the one who's worried though.  My friend has left plans for her whole wedding party's wardrobe in the hands of these dimwits.  Good luck, my dear friend, good luck.

I think they should make a rule for future lottery winners.  If you don't need the money, you're not allowed to win.  Take for instance, Jack Whittaker. He won $300 and some million last Christmas.  He didn't need it, the man was already a millionaire and now all he does is waste it away.  He gets something stolen from him just about every month.  Here's a clue, move out of Putnam County and stop going to the local racetrack.  Go to Vegas...you can afford it.  I just read that Jennifer Lopez's mother just struck it rich.  She hit a $2.4 million dollar jackpot on a slot machine in Atlantic City.  Could she possibly need this money??  Her daughter is J.Lo for God's sake!! I'm sure she'd be more than happy to give good ole mom a couple mil.  Oh why, oh why can't these things happen to us normal folk!!

Last week, I failed to give a spoiler warning for my conversation about the Sopranos...so here it is now, if you don't want to know what happens...STOP READING!! I apologize to those I ruined the episode for. Anyway, as is usual with those previews, they turned out to create a whole lot of speculation that added up to a whole lot of nothin'.  Don't get me wrong, it was a good episode but I was lookin' for someone to take it in the back of the head.  Unfortunately the closest we got to that was Christopher on his knees about ten seconds away from sleeping with the fishes.  I guess Tony's softer side got the better of him and he gave him a second chance.  Christopher's recent fall off the wagon and Adriana's close encounter with Tony (he asked about her cute 'friend', the FBI agent and she tells him she drowned at a picnic) has lead me even closer to assuming that by the end of the season he and Adriana are either going to be at the bottom of the Hudson with Ralphie or in a nice two bedroom house somewhere in Idaho.  Which will it be??  Well, that's all for today folks.  I'm off to Wheeling for a delish ravioli dinner!!  Feel free to e-mail at randiwvu@yahoo.com

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