May 12, 2004

Psycho Killer on the Loose

There wasn't a psycho killer on the loose here in Athens over the past week, but Jeff's post on Thursday got me thinking that we'd be in a world of trouble around here if there was.

As a regular frequenter of the J & J Flea Market, I know that your average run of the mill psychopath would be in heaven in a place like this. Guns, knives, rope, clothing, transient salespeople, no paper trail and no video cameras make the J & J the perfect place to stock up on supplies for the next five state killing spree.

To prove my point, today I bought 6 pairs of socks for $2, two shirts for $1, a hunting knife for $2, a flashlight with batteries for $1, and two bundles of rope for $2. Throw in a sturdy old shovel for $2 and all the green space of north Georgia and there is trouble brewing.

I provided a photo gallery to prove my point that flea markets and psychopaths don't mix.

Slide one catches us up with our madman on the loose. He looks a little constipated to me, but sometimes that's all it takes for a person to snap.

Slide two shows the entrance sign to the J & J Flea Market.

Slide three shows our unsuspecting victim on his way to buy imitation Oakley's and burned hip hop CD's.

Slide four shows our victim on the wrong end of a psychopathic beat down while trying to use the facilities after a dish of tacos and rice from the Mexican eatery.

Slide five shows our psychopath, in new clothes and with a fat wallet mind you, purchasing some goods. Knives, rope, a flashlight, a once read copy of American Psycho, and a shady merchant, this booth is a winner.

Slide six shows our psychopath cleaning up his previous mess. Gotta love the trunk space in big old American cars.

Slide seven shows our psychopath heading out to for his next victim.

So, I think it's pretty clear that psychos and flea markets don't mix. You wouldn't believe the looks I got while carrying around a hunting knife and rope today. My stock response to those who asked, "wild pigs."

That's all for today. I hope you enjoy the slideshow. I'd like to thank Dave and Anton for helping out this week. I'd like to thank Jeff as well for posting the photos. Maybe I'll send him an America hat. As always, feel free to email me at jacsv76@hotmail.com and let me know what you think of the column or leave a post under the Classic Living in the Peach State topic on the forums.

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