Classic Living
in the Peach State by
Jason Castleberry

September 2, 2004
Odds & Ends
I know that some of you are probably tired of hearing about my obsession
with poker, but you're gonna have to deal with it today. On Thursday
night last week I made my first big score, landing second place in a
tournament out of 1990 people. My winnings were $805 and a seat in
another tournament. Not too bad for a $3 entry fee and five hours of my
time.
Of course, because it took me until 4:30 in the morning I ended up
calling in "sick" on Friday. My next goal is to win seat in
the $200,000 game. A win in that could be as much as $120,000, depending
on the total number of entries. No reason to bore you though, you can
always read about my poker obsession at http://pokerchamp.blogspot.com/.
Speaking about blogs, the new one from my roommate Ryan and me is
officially up and running. It's called "Too Real Americans"
and here is the synopsis:
This is the place to learn about the two most in your face American
sensations, the American Heart-throb and the American Ass. The
Heart-throb loves ladies, drinking, and rocking out (acoustically) on
the hood of the Ass' car. The Ass loves, well, being an ass, and of
course, being an American. They just might have blogged your girlfriend.
You can view it here: http://toorealamericans.blogspot.com/.
Please feel free to leave us posts about how we are total goons.
I cannot wait until football season really gets going. One of the perks
I have at my job is that each day as I get off work in the evenings the
UGA band is warming up their instruments and playing a few tunes to get
ready for band practice. There's nothing like the rattle of the drums to
get you into football mood. Now if only a nice Fall breeze would blow
through.
It kind of reminds of high school in the sense that each day after
school as people would be driving out of the parking lot the band would
be practicing alongside the football team. Then I think about driving
around town at all hours of the morning, learning about the true joys of
women, and framing one of our teachers for murder. The good old days.
Anyway, The Bulldawg faithful are keyed up about the upcoming season in
a way I've never seen before. With title talk all over the major sports
magazines, this town will be explosive come game days. Of course, I have
a very different prediction. I say the Dawgs will finally get past the
Gators, only to get upset by an underachieving Auburn Tiger team. We'll
still make SEC title game, but the National Title will belong to someone
else. As an added bonus, David Greene and David Pollack will admit their
love affair...
With God.
The Classic Living in the Peach State Pro Football Preview
Ok, since I won't be submitting a column next week while I am on
vacation, and football season is right upon us, here is my pro football
preview for the 2004 season. If I'm wrong, tough, you shouldn't place
Vegas odds on anything I say being right.
NFC East
Let's tackle in what my opinion is the most boring division in the NFL.
Dallas has no offense whatsoever and did the dumbest thing in the world
by cutting Quincy Carter. Sure, he's a crack addict, but he can sure
scramble like nobody's business. However, Bill Parcells tends to know
what he's doing (8-8). Washington has got to be the team you love to
hate, not one likeable player on this entire squad. Despite the fact
that they landed Clinton Portis in the offseason, I don't think Joe
Gibbs will get a lot out of these underachievers (7-9). The New York
Giants have possible the worst team unity on the planet and Tom Coughlin
will do nothing to help it (6-10). Since none of the above teams in my
opinion have what it takes, that means the Philadelphia Eagles will win
this division with an 11-5 record. As soon as the playoffs hit, all of
their weaknesses will come up big time to sink them.
NFC North
The Chicago Bears did pretty much nothing to prove to me that they are
any better than they were last season. Even worse, they are planning to
install a Florida Gator at starting quarterback. I think I smell a 6-10
record. The Detroit Lions are about two seasons away from becoming a
playoff contender. However, I think they'll pull off a few big wins
(6-10). The Green Bay Packers suck, so does Brett Favre (0-16). Like I
said, don't bet your house on my predictions. The Vikings are simply the
best team in this division and I like them to go 12-4 as long as they
stay healthy, or in the case of Mr. Randy Moss, out of jail.
NFC South
It's hard to imagine that this division has represented the NFC in the
Super Bowl for the last two years, but it's true. New Orleans will start
off hot and end with a four game losing streak, just like the last two
years. Aaron Brooks and his overpriced contract will steer them to a 7-9
record. The Atlanta Falcons have been pretty good this pre-season as
long as Michael Vick is in the game. It's sad that an injury to Peerless
Price will bring the whole Dirty Bird train crashing to a halt this
season (8-8). The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are done, no wideouts, half
a rushing attack, and an old defense. Jon Gruden's ugly mug will guide
this squad to an 6-10 record. On a side note, has Gruden ever built a
team, or just inherited veteran squads on the verge of a big season?
That means that the Carolina Panthers will win this division again with
a power rushing attack and swarming defense. They play good hard nosed
football and I'm all for it (11-5).
AFC East
There are two players in this division and two posers. Poser Number One
had the worst off-season of any pro team. They lost their starting
running back, have three inept quarterbacks vying for the starting role,
and traded away their second best defensive player. If you picked the
Miami Dolphins, you're right! This team will cruise to a 4-12 record.
Poser Number Two has an aging overpriced quarterback, one talented but
aging wide receiver, and running back competition, and not much else. If
you picked the Buffalo Bills, you're right again! The Bills have blown
since Jim Kelly retired (5-11). The New York Jets are looking to get
back into the playoffs this year after a painful start to last season
almost sunk them. With a confident young quarterback, quality receivers,
and a solid defense, I predict a good season for Jets fans (10-6).
The big dog in the AFC East though is the New England Patriots, who have
won 14 or 15 straight games (including playoffs). With a real running
back, I expect more of the same (13-3).
AFC North
I suppose someone will have to win this division. So, my money is on the
Baltimore Ravens, unless Jamal Lewis goes to jail. I see them going 10-6
while Ray Lewis simply makes life hell for opposing quarterbacks.
Cincinnati decided that Carson Palmer is ready to start. He'll be back
on the bench by week four as Jon Kitna comes back in to salvage another
potential playoff season for the Bengals. Won't happen though (8-8).
Both Cleveland and Pittsburgh aren't worth wasting my time over. They
both go 4-12.
AFC South
This might possibly be the most competitive division in the NFL this
year. Houston will unfortunately be the team that receives the most
punishment. They are young and progressing, but not there yet (6-10).
Jacksonville is supposedly a playoff contender, but I'm not sold on them
yet. They need a quality young receiver to step up and another
injury-free year from Fred Taylor, neither of which will happen (8-8).
Tennessee is about the toughest team to get a read on in the NFL, that's
why Steve McNair will lead them to a 10-6 record. However, Indianapolis
is the team to beat in the AFC South and maybe the NFL. The offense is
as good as it gets, although Edge James has lost a step, and the defense
gets better every year. Manning still needs to produce more in big
games, but they'll go 13-3.
AFC West
This is another tough division to call and I'm totally biased on its
outcome. The Raiders will go 2-16, squeezing out two victories against
the Chargers. I hate the Raiders, but the Chargers are that bad. The
Chargers will go 5-11 this year thanks to another amazing year by
Ladanian Tomlinson. The Broncos will go 10-6 despite losing one of the
NFL's top rushers. The Kansas City Chiefs will start coming back to
Earth once it's realized that they have no quality receivers and still
no defense. Priest Holmes will still be unstoppable (10-6). The
Broncos will win the tie-breaker because they will own the Raiders like
the little bitches they are.
I'll save my playoff predictions for another time.
That's all for today. See you in a couple of weeks. As always, you can
reach me at jacsv76@hotmail.com.
Holla if you hear me!
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