August 25, 2004

The Nightmare Team and Other Olympic Thoughts

The U.S. Olympic Basketball team continues to disappoint in the Olympics. We made the medal round, which is good, until you realize that a 1-3 team also made the medal round. I know it's been said already, but this team stinks. No chemistry, no standout performances, and no heart. I hope we get swept out. If we get beat by a few more fundamentally sound European teams, there will be good reason to believe that the product the NBA has been passing off as superior is not. I like basketball, but I really don't like the NBA.

You could argue that some of our best players passed up on the games and the team was only together for a few weeks. That's true, but it is also true that the Nightmare team is already made up of mostly NBA All-stars and previous U.S. Olympic Basketball teams had the same amount of time to prepare. It's just a sad show all around.

However, beach volleyball has gotten some press and I'm all for it. I
remember the beach volleyball craze in the early 1990's and then in just dried up. There was even a movie called Side Out with C. Thomas Howell, Peter Horton, and the dead guy from Weekend at Bernie's. Once I get my hands on a copy of that, I'll review it. Side Out, not Weekend at Bernie's. I'm fairly certain the world could go on without another Weekend at Bernie's review.

It just seems that when Gabrielle Reece stopped playing regularly, the whole thing fell apart. Instead, we've been treated to soccer and softball for the last decade. I'm sorry, but women with man legs are not hot. And yes, I'm talking about Mia Hamm.

The Poker Front

This last weekend I won about $25 while playing poker online. You can read all about it here. The American Hearthrob blog is still being constructed, but once it is up, you'll have to check it out. I swear it will be worth your time.

Something I Wish I Saw a Few Weeks Ago...

I wish I saw this a few weeks ago when I did my review of Fight Club. This guy draws some pretty interesting correlations between Fight Club and Calvin and Hobbes. It must be nice to have free time.

Movie of the Week

This week I'm going to review a movie I'm fairly certain that none of you have ever seen. This movie has been out for about four years and I only recently saw it myself in February. I was turned on to this movie by my girlfriend Sonya, who also bought it for me before I had the chance. The movie is Wild Zero, and below are 10 reasons why you should see, own and idolize it.

1) Check out the synopsis: Ace, a rockabilly fan who really wants to be cool, is on his way to seeing his favorite group Guitar Wolf when a strange thing occurs . . . aliens invade the Earth and people start returning to life as flesh-eating zombies! Enlisting the help of the (real-life) rock/ punk band Guitar Wolf (and self-proclaimed coolest rock band in the world), Ace and the members of the band get entangled in many misadventures with crazy rock managers in very tight shorts, transsexuals, naked women shooting guns in the shower, and bloodthirsty zombies ready to tear them apart. Leather jackets, loud over-modulated music, laser guitar picks, motorcycles, muscle
cars, and LOTS of fire... (I don't think I need to say any more.)

2) It's Japanese, so it's way more messed up than what an American
studio would put out. I'd like to note that it is not Anime, so you tentacle rape fans (you know who you are) need to look elsewhere.

3) It has its own drinking game! Although it is relatively unknown
stateside, Wild Zero made quite a splash in Japan. You must drink when the following things happen:

Someone drinks
Someone combs their hair
Fire shoots out of anything
Someone says rock n roll
Something explodes
A zombie's head pops

The DVD will give you prompts as to when you should drink. Having shared this experience with others, I suggest you stick to beer as there are scenes in which a couple of these things happen within moments of each other. As a bonus, one ten second scene contains all six rules.

4) The music is painfully bad, the way we think all Japanese music
sounds. I will give credit to Guitar Wolf though, they are ridiculously loud. Plus, they toured with the Cramps, which is pretty sweet.

5) The special effects are pretty cut-rate compared to American films. However, I think this was the plan, to give the film a campy edge. In this context it totally works. The zombie make-up is ok, not amazing. But once again, I don't think the producers/director were striving for realism.

6) Ace is #1. The movie is pretty much all in Japanese, except for this one line. And it's this line that is the funniest in the whole movie. Maybe it's because of the delivery, or the idea that someone would call himself #1, or that fact that Ace is far from it, but it's perfect.  The movie has subtitles, as well as an English version, but stick with the subtitles.

7) One of the actresses looks like a chubby Margaret Cho. Actually, now that I think about it, it's probably Margaret Cho. Anyway, she spends a good part of the film running, and it's always entertaining to watch chubby people run. That's why I quit doing it.

8) It has a moral. Love knows no borders. Of course, if you knew the
borders they were talking about, you'd at least think twice.

9) If you loved movies like My Science Project, Buckaroo Banzai, and
Night Of The Creeps, you will totally dig Wild Zero. If you thought those movies were lame...you're a Bret Favre fan and you can kiss my ass.

10) You can buy this movie or read more about it at Amazon.com. Go
through Jeff's link on the main WVSR page. Although it is a little costly, it's worth the $22 bucks. If anything, hit up your local independently owned video store, because Blockbuster won't carry this film. They suck.

Missed Opportunity

I'm sorry to report that I did not get to see, Slippery When Wet, the South's #1 Bon Jovi Tribute band when they played in town on Friday. Instead, I ended up drinking at some other bar with my girlfriend and some of her friends. It wasn't a bad time, but I wish I really caught the show. It might have been a once in a lifetime opportunity. Next time, I won't back out so easily. I'll go see a Bon Jovi tribute band by myself if I have to.

Well that's it for this week. I feel like I got out of that funk from the
last week. I've got a vacation coming in less than two weeks and about 10 pounds to shed. Too bad you can't lose weight and eat chips at the same time. As always, you can reach me at jacsv76@hotmail.com. Peace out!

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