March 9, 2004

A Little About Me...

If you're reading this sentence, then I was successfully able to convince Jeff to include me as one of his columnists, and I am grateful. I live in Athens, Georgia, better known locally as the Classic City. I don't know why, it just is. Athens is known nationally for its music community, which is the stomping ground to several well known musical acts past and present, including REM, the B-52's, Widespread Panic, Five-Eight, Drive-By-Truckers, Jucifer, etc. On any given night in town there are more than 10-15 bands playing at multiple different venues.

Athens is also home to the University of Georgia where I received my
education as well as where I currently work. I guess you could say I got sucked in. Due to my father's work I moved around quite a bit while growing up, and Athens is the longest I've ever lived anywhere, an astonishing seven years. I'm 27 years old, unmarried, have an income teetering on the poverty level, a crappy car, and a journalism degree. I think Jeff has said it best, "I'm here to serve, baby..."

Much like Chris and Buck, I'll spend most of this column writing about
current events (personal and national), do some music/movie reviews, relate some past happenings (I have my own restaurant and college stories), give you some fine examples of life here in the South for a non-Southerner (redneck idiot stories), and try to entertain you all without getting the excessive amounts of hate mail that Chris reports he gets.

Politics

I suppose the best way to know if you will give half a shit about what
someone says is to know a little about their personal political beliefs. Here are some views of mine as they relate to current topics in the news:

Gay marriage - I support gay marriage almost without question. This is not an issue that will go away any time soon. The gay community has proven to be quite resilient in the past on issues that are of importance to them. In case you're curious, two guys I would sleep with if I was gay are Elvis (he's the fucking King) and Tom Cruise (just because).

Abortion - This topic is perpetually in the news. I've always been under the impression that Roe vs. Wade answered this problem pretty conclusively. However, it seems that every other year this becomes a hot button issue. One thing I noticed though, pro-lifers have been known to attack and kill pro-choice advocates and doctors. I'm not quite sure how that gets their point across in a positive way.

Gun Control - This is topic that can best alienate Southern voters in a
second. Do I like guns? Absolutely. Do I really need one? No, and I doubt that anyone does. However, you won't catch me saying that to some local hunting party. Unexplained disappearances are quite common in the North Georgia wilderness.

I could go on and on, but I think I've already set myself up for a few "God punishes liberals" emails. 

The Stars & Bars

Since I'm already on the subject of politics and alienating readers, I'll
just say a little something about the average Georgia voter. The Stars & Bars is another name for the Confederate Flag, like how the Civil War is regionally referred to as the War of Northern Aggression. Anyway, our previous Governor, Roy Barnes, changed the flag after receiving pressure from the Federal Government. This perceived slight to the fine heritage of Georgia soldiers caused him to lose his job to Sonny Perdue, who's only real platform was giving voters a choice to change the flag. Unfortunately for the voters, and the State, Sonny is quite doing a bang up job and the flag has yet to be changed. There's nothing funnier and possibly more dangerous than and angry,
duped Southerner come election time.

Coming Events

I'm sure Jeff might be a little jealous of this, but I have tickets for
Saturday's Drive-by-Truckers show at the Georgia Theater. Before hand I'll be going to an engagement party for my friends Chris and Julie. I'll keep a running diary of both events until I become incomprehensibly drunk and start a fight with a frat guy.

Wrap Up

That's about it for now. Hopefully you enjoyed it and hopefully I'll be back. You can let Jeff know what you thought of me on the forum, and you can let me know by emailing me at jacsv76@hotmail.com. Please do not forward me any penis enlargement ads; my girlfriend says I have "a good size." Take care.

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