by "Buck"

January 28, 2005

I'll start today's edition with an update on my pickup truck.  Last week I told you of the comical problems associated with turning the steering wheel to the right and the horn blows.  I finally got the machine into the shop for a fix-it job by a Dale Earnhardt surrogate.  However, before visiting Bill's Junk Bunker, the problem had worsened.  By the time I pulled into the parking lot-with the horn flailing away the horn was actually blowing when I would SLAM THE DOOR!  I also found that wasn't the only problem.  During the height of our so-called snowstorm, we got about three inches-pussy snow, more on that in a moment-I learned that the four-wheel drive had shit the bed as well. 

They kept the machine over the weekend and beat and banged on it for a couple of days to which I got this diagnosis, and I quote.   "Steerin' column fucked up, proley (probably) got all busted up in 'at crash.  We gonna pu a newin on er."   As for the four-wheel drive, again a direct quote.. "She's fucked up."   No shit Dick Tracy-maybe the first clue came when I punched the button and continued a sideways slide on the hill.  They claim to have it all working again-I'll let you know unless I'm crushed in a collision with a mini-van towing a U-Haul.

Ever since I moved to this area we haven't had a good snow.  I mean a snow that you're pushing out of the way with the door in the morning.  About six inches is the biggest snow we've had in the last five years-and that was once.   When I lived in Morgantown we got three years of straight blizzards.  The theory for many years here is that the chemical companies have put so much shit in the air snow can't stay frozen and dissolves before it lands.  Seems to be the case.  

However, the school systems around here are a gaggle of goose pussies.  If they even PREDICT a REMOTE CHANCE that we could get an inch, they call off school.  Now, I'm not saying we never missed school for snow when I grew up.  Hell in 1979 we missed all of January and returned from the Christmas break on February 27th  THAT was one fine holiday.  However, I've never seen the wringing of hands like people do over a little bit of snow.  Damn people get a fucking grip. 

Another area where society needs to get a grip is on medication.  I know a woman who's younger than me and the woman takes nine pills a day.   She's constantly tired, has a hard time focusing on a task, and is always short and near tears.   She keeps feeding the condition with medication---I'm no doctor, but perhaps the cure is what's killing her.   If you have to take NINE pills a day for ANYTHING-you're not well.   But if you're taking that shit for anxiety, sleeplessness, nerves or what not-I'm fairly convinced that a lot of those conditions are all in your head-much of it put there by a medical industry aimed at convincing us to think we're fucked up so we'll beg for their prescriptions.  Just look at all of the advertisements on TV, for example"

Scene:  Woman wandering aimlessly in a garden with a worried look on her face as grim music plays underneath..

Narrator:   Do you have trouble sleeping?   Are you worried about something?   Do you find yourself fearful that things won't turn out okay?   Do small things cause you to become overly anxious?   

Woman:  Yes, I don't know what's happening to me.

Narrator:  You need MegaMind 2000, to put your mind at ease.

Who approves this kind of shit.  We all have problems like that to one degree or another.   Get over it and find a way to deal with it WITHOUT taking a pill that alters your mind.  Metten mentioned it one day about the side effects being worse than the illness.

I went to the movies last weekend-it's a rare event for me.  I saw Racing Stripes-a movie about a zebra who runs in the Kentucky Derby after overcoming all of the obstacles like ill will from other horses, hoof envy, and confliction.  He finally finds himself and prevails.  It was okay if you're into clean movies where the good guys win and nobody cusses, good one for your "secrets"  How about this for a star studded lineup, Whoopi Goldberg, Snoop Dog, and Jeff Foxworthy-tell me that's not an eclectic mix of talent.

Anyway, I went to see it at Huntington's historic Keith Albee Theatre.

This place is a treasure with all of the ornate design from back when going to the movie was an event-not just "something to do."  Truly an amazing place.  It also has two other theaters that look like they were once cloak rooms, now they have about 20 seats and show movies.  The shitter was down three flights of winding stairs and looked like at one time was a place you would find guys with ties and hats chomping cigars and taking nips of bootlegged gin.  It wasn't a bathroom, it was a LOUNGE and even had a fireplace. Cool.  It's too bad we don't build more of these kinds of places today instead of the cookie cutter theaters at thee Mall. 

I was talking to a newbie here at work the other day.  He's a co-worker, a peer, an equal in life.. and he's actually never lived in a time without CDs, microwave ovens, and knows nothing before the Nintendo 64.  I'm 36 and feel like I'm 336.  I actually remember the first of the following items ever introduced into our household.

--Microwave oven
--VCR
--CDs
--Satellite TV
--LED Digital Clocks
--Computer (Texas Instruments-oh my God)
--Color TV

I guess when I think about it though it's all relative.  My grandfather never saw a car until he was 18 and owned the first TV set in his COUNTY!  Time marches on.

Buck Out

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