by "Buck"

November 18, 2004

You know, it's a heart-attack on a bun but damn, the new Hardees Super Thick Burger is just about the best thing I've ever seen in the way of food.  Leave it to a backwoods, redneck restaurant to find a way to put a full side-of-beef on a bun, and add to it a side of pork bacon. Life is good. Short.. but, very, very good.

I'll have no update next week, that's because deer season opens up and I'll be attempting to slaughter at least four animals.  I've determined I need five deer to get me through the year with a freezer full of nutritious venison.  I put the smack down on a West Virginia backstrapper a week ago with an arrow.  I plan to blast the insides out of several more with my precision tuned high-powered rifle next week.   

Deer season here in West Virginia is darn near a religious ritual.  If you don't believe me, just ask Mr. Kay.  People take the week off and if they don't have days off they'll just not show up.  Coal mines shut down, factories halt production, schools in some counties actually have the day off, because if they didn't none of the kids would show up anyway.  Everywhere you go, people dress in orange and camouflage-moreso than normal-and there's a general feeling of festiveness about the whole event.  

I'm seeing the constant hand wringing by everybody over this Marine that shot the wounded insurgent in Iraq.  Let's examine what's known..1.  The guy who did the shooting had been shot himself the day before. 2. This unit a day earlier had one guy killed and five wounded when a booby-trapped enemy body blew up. 3. Everybody sucking air in the city of Fallujah that isn't American wants to kill American GIs at all costs.  4.  They walked into a room with a bunch of dead insurgents-and one of them is faking.  I'm no veteran, but I can say that given the background leading up to this I might have some concern about this guy's plans.  

Okay, nobody wants to shoot innocent people who are no longer posing a threat... that's easy to say from the comfort of a chair in Charleston, West Virginia with the advantage of 20/20 hindsight and a series of slides and graphs calculating just what the intentions of the now dead insurgent were.  Also "helpful" has been the endless, mindless "analysis" from a herd of numb-nut, panty-waist, pussified, shitheads on TV.  This bunch of tripe is full of horse manure and will stop at nothing short of running this guy out on a rail.  

My final analysis of this snapshot into the horror of war:  SHIT HAPPENS.

So what was up with Anna Nicole Smith at the American Music Awards the other night.  Holy hell, I haven't seen a hottie that fucked up since graduation night when Christy Parker streaked through the woods.   

I don't know much about awards shows, especially those involving rap legends, but I had to scratch my head the other night over the Vibe Awards.  I guess Dr. Dre was getting the lifetime achievement award or some such shit and a brawl broke out in the crowd.  Holy shit, a lifetime honor and you become an episode of Jerry Springer.  Simply Fabulous. 

While I'm on the subject I heard this week that ODB (Old Dirty Bastard) dropped dead in a recording studio or something.  I suppose in a memorial tribute, gangs shot and killed three people.

I visited Hillbilly Hotdogs in LeSage, West Virginia last week.  Mr. Kay has written several sterling reviews of this fine eating establishment and don't be fooled by the décor-they serve a hell of a hotdog, especially the one I opted for Saturday, "The Junkyard Dog."  It's a colon cleanser let me tell you.

I saw a kid on my street the other day listening to an I-Pod.  I'm not tech savvy so I had no idea what the fuck the thing was.  I'm still mesmerized by the electronic windows as standard equipment on a car.  It dawned on me that the kids born today, or really since about 1995 have no recollection of what we were exposed to.  They don't know what records are, many of them have never used a VCR tape-except MAYBE to watch video of the day they were born, they've never used a rotary dial phone, they think a party-line is a 1-900-number.  When it comes to TV they think the three-networks are MTV, VH1, and ESPN.  They consider it a novelty to write a letter and send it with a postage stamp through the U.S. Mail.  They own radios that don't have an AM band.  They've never seen, let alone owned, records, cassettes, or 8-track tapes.  They've never heard of the "6:00 News."  The kids today have never had to go to the seedy side of town to find a gas station bathroom with a condom machine.   They've never had to actually turn a knob and carefully adjust a dial to find a radio station.  They've never had to get off the couch to change the TV station.  They've never had to read TV guide to find out what's on.  They've never had to wait 20-minutes for a hamburger, fries, and a Coke.  My, but I do feel old.

Buck Out

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