by "Buck"

February 5, 2004

SUPER BOWL - Well, well, well... perhaps I should have watched the half-time show.  Guess it didn't matter since the highlights have been replayed more than the final kick.  I readily admit that I'm far out of the loop when it comes to pop culture.  I'm fairly certain I've never even heard Justin Timberlake sing.  In fact, if he hadn't been attached at some point to Britney Spears, I would never have heard his name.  As for Janet Jackson,.. that had to be painful.-a nipple piercing?  Ouch.

Okay, I was watching the game and for the first time in a while it was a good one and had me riveted to the set.  I made the call that I'd take a shower at half-time so as not to miss a moment of the action.  Therefore as Justin was unleashing the booby missile, I was covering my increasingly large ass in a cold room.  In fact, my better half was away from the set as well and we didn't catch it at all until the next morning.  People here in West Virginia flipped out as you can imagine.  I'd be pretty pissed off too if I had kids watching.  The claims that this was all a big accident are complete and total HORSESHIT!   Great timing to do this and have everybody on the planet talking about you just as your new CD debuts.  It's a glowing tribute to the absolute lack of talent in today's entertainment world that the only way they can be noticed is to do something shocking and risqué.  Guess it would be impossible for Jackson or Timberlake to come out and put on a GREAT PERFORMANCE and SING WELL, inspiring people to want to go buy their shit.  Lost in the shuffle are the abhorrent performances by the likes of Nelly and Kid Rock.  I was a fan of Kid Rock until he comes out wearing the flag as a poncho-what the fuck?  Show a little more respect.  I guess I'm just old fashioned that way.  I'm known to throw out some Marine Corps vernacular myself at times-but no on national television during a prime spot.  It's piss-poor when an entertainer has to resort to that to get noticed.  What's more Nelly masturbated himself into a half-staff woody as well.  Great talent there.  What ever happened to just being a kick-ass singer and let that stand?  

Nice job NFL, you hired MTV for the job-and got exactly what you deserved.

GAME ITSELF  -- What pisses me off more about this whole ordeal is how it overshadowed a classic football game.  As I mentioned in last week's commentary, I've almost lost interest in the whole thing because the game is usually an ass whipping from the opening kick.   This year's game was tremendous and actually lived up to the hype.   Unfortunately some standout athletic performances were overshadowed by a half-hard rapper, a disrespectful foul-mouth in desperate need of a haircut, a punk-ass puss who got ditched for Madonna, and a washed up has been from a family of screwballs barring her store-bought ta-ta with bad costume jewelry. 

ROBERT BLAKE --  So accused killer Robert Blake has a court hearing in California this week and as he leaves the courthouse, borrows a panhandler's guitar and sings "Somewhere Over the Rainbow."  What the hell is that?  Guess if it worked for Michael Jackson everybody wants in on the act.  Forget Mr. Kay's Further Evidence file...just turn on CNN on a daily basis and you'll see a far larger collection of evidence that Mr. Kay will ever be able to amass in a basement in Scranton.

HOME FOR THE WEEKEND - Well, I got all of that out of my system I can move on.  Over the weekend, I went home for a quick overnight visit.  I went to my brother's palace on the hill and shot pool on his new pool table.  My brother has a penchant for new toys and an apparent bottomless pit of money to fuel the habit.  He's got the big screen HDTV, LED screen in another room with DVD, digital this, digital that.  I'm pretty sure the flush device in the shitter has some Internet technology.  The guy is a computer tech at a hospital and runs a very successful computer repair business out of his basement.  I've never seen any computer problem he can't diagnose and repair.    The funny thing is people always said he'd be the one wearing an oval patch with his name on the front.  He never went to college, but taught himself all about computers.  Amazing success story.

THE HOME CROWD - While we were shooting pool a couple of my brother's high school buddies showed up with a 12-pack of PBR.   They are now probation officers for the county back home and it became a trip down memory lane of all the former high school classmates who are now on probation and answering to them four times a week.  Most of the old guys I went to high school with are now recovering or continuing OxyContin addicts.  Hillbilly Heroin... I think back to some of the names mentioned in our conversation and at least two were voted most likely to succeed.  You never know.

COCKFIGHT - Police here in West Virginia arrested 21 people who were participating in a cockfight this week.  This is pure hillbilly sport and highly illegal.  In case you're wondering, they take two pissed off roosters, strap a razor sharp steel spur to their legs, then take bets on who'll win.  They are then turned loose and fight to the death.   It's a brutal display, but actually still legal in some places.  I remember attending a cockfight during my foggy college days.  We went to a barn in the middle of nowhere.  Outside this bar that was on the verge of collapse was a collection of cars that were better suited for the parking lot of the Chez Paul.  There were Mercedes, Cadillacs, BMW, and other luxury sedans.  Inside there were people dressed as if they were going to the prom with evening wear.   I couldn't believe this surreal scene.   There were hot women in formal gowns standing on a dirt floor watching two chickens go at it in a blood bath.  Meanwhile, well dressed men smoked big cigars and held fists full of $100 dollar bills and were placing their best.   It was the most bizarre thing I've ever witnessed and left me visibly shaken.   

WAITING FOR SPRING - That son-of-a-bitch neighbor of Mr. Kay down in Punxatawaney (or however the hell you spell it) says six more weeks of winter.  Kill the little bastard.  I've had enough and we really haven't had much.  We have had a few snows that left a couple of inches-but nothing major.  I can't imagine living up north.  I like snow around Christmas and part of January, but that's enough.  However, I'm never satisfied.  I bitch and moan in August that it's too hot.   Just my nature I suppose.

SPRING SHOWS - I'm looking forward to the upcoming Home and Garden Show in Huntington.  They have this every winter and it lets you talk to contractors, home decorators and such shit.  I plan to have a stern interview with about four contractors for the planned deck project.   I simply MUST have that deck built this year.  I can already smell the burgers grilling on my new deck as I enjoy ice tea in the comfort of the shade and watch the sun backlight the woods behind the house.  Ah Peaceful serenity.  There are other less savory plans for the summer.  I have to paint the garage doors and all of the exterior trim.  We must also paint the living room-which means painting the living room, kitchen, stairwell, and lower foyer since they're all connected and have no natural break to stop painting.     The garage also needs a paint job, but may have to wait another year.  I'm also considering putting down one of those epoxy floors with the sprinkles that they are always advertising on TV, but that's down the road.  Other exterior projects include rebuilding two flower beds with landscape rocks rather than the termite infested timbers, more clearing of underbrush behind the house, a few brush piles to burn; it's going to be a busy spring/summer.

E-MAIL HELL - The geniuses at work decided they would farm out the e-mail server to an outside resource.  I'm not sure what the reason was, but it would have been fine had they told us ahead of time.  We showed up at work Monday and the e-mail didn't work.  A lot of people lost some valuable shit.  I lost my whole address book and have spent the week rebuilding it.  Pain in the ass.  

WRAP-UP - That should do it for this week.  Remember any questions, complaints, or inquiries can be e-mailed to buckdeere@aol.com

BUCK OUT

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