by "Buck"

January 22, 2004

TOUGHMAN - I spent an entertaining evening at the Big Sandy Superstore Area in Huntington.   This barn, formerly known as the Huntington Civic Center, hosted for the 13th straight year the Tri-State Area Toughman competition.  There is truly no purer form of entertainment than a bunch of holler monsters trying to beat the living hell out of each other.  I opted for the Saturday night event since I don't have to get up so early on Sunday morning (I work early on Saturdays).  However, the true entertainment comes on Friday night-the first round.  This is where all-comers are allowed into the ring.   You get a couple of enormous fat bodies flailing away in what almost becomes a sumo-match.   Then there are chicken shits that get into the thing on a dare and are paired up with somebody who takes a bead on killing them.  I watched one guy run around the ring and hide behind the referee.  Highly entertaining.   Even better is the D-J plays music to go along with the fight. this one he played the theme to Barney the Dinosaur.. CLASSIC.   

TOUGHWOMEN - There is another degree of entertainment to be derived when a couple of women go toe-to-toe.   Don't confuse this with your garden variety cheerleader types in a catfight.   This is usually some big women with breasts bigger than their boxing gloves and guts to match. 

RING GIRLS - Naturally the between rounds entertainment is killer.  You'll notice the most recent Smoking Fish took in some of that entertainment as well.   There are plenty of ring girl shots and action shots on the West Virginia Toughman website.  If one of these comes to a location near you, I would recommend going-it's an amazing way to act tough in the crowd and make fun of those being pummeled.   

RUDE BITCH - I'm constantly amazed at the rudeness that permeates our society.   The chairs at the Toughman Contest were very tightly strapped together.  One guy came through and kicked over my $3.00 Coke.    Then a lady in front of me indicated on more than one occasion that she was wearing red panties and had a tattoo of the sun in the small of our back.  Here is what I saw for a good portion of the night.

SUPERBOWL - I was really hoping Peyton Manning would lead the Colts to the big game, but it's not to be.   One thing I am happy about is that Donovan McNabb won't be there.  I guess since the Steelers are in the thing I'll root for the Panthers.  I am after all from the south. 

PICK THE CAPTION - A radio station in Wheeling, W.Va. has an interesting addition to their website.  It's called rate the caption.  They post a pic and you write a caption for it.  It's kind of cool and offers prizes for the most creative. Check it out.   Perhaps this would be a neat addition for the WVSR, but I'm not the one in charge. 

MICHAEL JACKSON - I don't understand Michael Jackson.  Somebody please help me out here.  You're accused of being a child molester.  You show up late for court and start out the whole court process by pissing off the judge.   Then as you leave there is a throng of equally stupid people outside yearning for your freedom, so you dance on top of a car.  His lawyer tells ABC News, quote "He is not a freak."    Bullshit.  He is a freak mutated from something else.  That character Stitch in "Lilo and Stitch" is more normal than this pedophile fruitcake.  What's even more bizarre than Jackson-if that's possible-is his legions of fans.   I saw some girl on TV the other day crying and saying this was the greatest day of her life and all of her dreams were coming true.   Holy shit lady!  You're standing in front of a courthouse holding a sign proclaiming your love for an accused child molester!  Surely you set your goals in life higher than that.  Plus, what are these fruit-loops telling their boss?  I won't be able to come in to work today, I'm busy showing my support for Michael Jackson!   Yeah, my boss would be TOTALLY understanding of that one!

REDNECK CONVENTION - I'm looking forward to this weekend's hunting and fishing show in Charleston, W.Va.  They are expecting 16,000 people to pass through the three day event.  It's a collection of hunting and fishing stuff from all over the world in an exposition format.  It's always a lot of fun-and one of the few times Wal-Mart isn't crowded.  Camouflage clothing and blaze orange are not only accepted attire-but considered en-vogue.  Also there's the ultimate Rate My Rack contest.   Check it out. 

SPEAKING OF WHICH - If you're looking for a neat gift for the outdoorsman who has everything-might want to check this out.      

BIRD FEEDER - Much like the swallows returning to San Juan Capistrano, the cardinals have returned to my backyard birdfeeder.  It's about fucking time.  The food has been out there for a month and is probably molded.  Rude bastards showing up late for dinner.   Actually it's not a bird feeder-it's my neighbor's cat feeder, but it's all entertaining stuff.  

WHAT THE HELL? -- I have an e-mail address set aside separate from those that are actually used for work or family related matters.  The address is buckdeere@aol.com    I have never used this to buy or solicit anything, however below is a list of the spam I have received without giving anyone any information about it.   These are direct quotes from the subject line:

Lose that fat with fatburning hgh, 50%
Enlarge up to 3 inches
hilltopseptum
Traders Daily Report                 hello
Free Overnight FedEx  Phentermine $69
Increase sexual function and vigor
suffering from vaginal yeast infections?  rx meds can help
get harder again
Marketwatch Momentum Alert
get a better hardon
cure problems in bed
Have the best sex ever

That's just this morning's compilation--I can't keep the thing cleaned out.   Who the fuck thinks I would be a proper market for this shit?  I should do an automatic return e-mail to all of these spammers that says.  GO FUCK YOURSELF!  If you want to correspond with me...there's the address and you can add to the fun!  Perhaps I'll actually get e-mail from you I can open!    buckdeere@aol.com

AND THAT WILL DO IT FOR TODAY.  Buck, signing off!

                            <<previous next>>

                                    
                 The West Virginia Surf Report!