In Newspaper Ads
Who Look Like They're Farting
Always the life of the party, Ernie
manipulates his butt cheeks to alter the tone of his escaping flatus. He
is affectionately known as Bagpiper of the Ass.
A traditionalist, Richard prefers the
"tilting to one side" method. When it comes to farting,
Richard doesn't subscribe to the Flashy New Ways. He likes to keep it
simple and real, out of respect for the past masters.
While walking to his car Robert pauses
and discretely lifts the heel of one foot, just enough to break the
seal, then lets loose with a low rumbler. Robert appreciates the
cathedral-like acoustics of the parking garage.
Always a risk-taker, Felicia seizes the
opportunity when her host excuses herself to retrieve a platter of
sandwiches from the kitchen. On that patio it now sounds like the
Emergency Alert signal is going off.
Marc dares you to have a problem with
his oily cauliflower gas. Marc is borderline predatory when it comes to
farting, and represents the ugly side of the sport.
Utilizing the one-heel-up method, Jacob
unleashes a "Game Show Buzzer," and Ethan reacts in the
accepted manner. This is a paradigm that transcends all cultures and age
Marie and her co-workers have had a bit
to drink, and things are quickly spiraling out of control. Marie will
earn an unfortunate new office nickname tonight: the pants-shitter.
Jim likes to pretend he's in a constant
state of gastrointestinal distress; that's his "hook." In
reality, he is nothing more than a common showboater.
Ron got a big laugh with his previous
eruption, and is trying it again. Unfortunately, it's too much too soon
and his sequel will fall flat. This is a common error amongst
inexperienced, over-eager party farters.
Other items of interest
The West Virginia Surf Report!