--After the younger Secret went to school this morning, I took my
car to “the shop.”Over
the past few days it’s been acting funny, not wanting to start, and
sounding like a fat man getting punched in the gut during a bar fight.And believe me, I know that sound...
I was hoping it was only the battery, but feared it might be the
alternator, or starter, or something else expensive.I had terrifying flashbacks of my Chevy Blazer days, and
experienced a full-body shiver.
Preferring to remain ignorant, but afraid of getting stranded
somewhere, I bit the bullet and took my car to the Last Honest Garage
in America.The guy there said he
could probably get to it in a half-hour or so, and I gave him my cell
number and told him I’d be having breakfast within walking distance.
About twenty minutes later, while I was wedging a slice of French
toast the size of a pack of cigarettes into my mouth at Friendly’s,
he called and said my battery was about to shit the bed.It was supposed to be packing 600 amps (or whatever), but mine
was barely registering 90.I’m
pretty sure that’s what he told me…
And so, it turned out to be one of those curious situations where I
was almost giddy with excitement about having to hand over $85 for car
repairs.Back when I had
my Chevrolet Shitbox, you see, I was regularly rolling wheelbarrows
full of cash into that place, with hot tears streaming down my face.So this felt like a last-minute reprieve from the guvna.
After I paid the man I practically danced to my car, and might’ve
even clicked my heels in the air before climbing behind the wheel.And when I turned the key, that big Japanese bastard fired-up
like a champion.
I am so very thankful today for the malfunction of my car battery...Pass the beer nuts.
--Have you ever started
the morning with coffee and celery?I have, and it’s not too bad.
--Every time I see one of
those retirement fund commercials with Dennis Hopper, I start adding
“maaaan” tothe end of all my sentences.This usually lasts for thirty to
forty minutes, and then
it goes away.
--When I was a kid he was called Smokey the Bear, and now I hear
him referred to as simply Smokey Bear.This bothers
me a great deal, and I thought you should know.
--At Toney’s job
she’s constantly surrounded by high school-aged kids, and she
requested I ask you guys about something…
Apparently there’s a group of girls who roll up one of their pants
leg all the time, or if they’re wearing shorts they pull one sock
all the way up and push the other one down.
What does this mean?!What
are they trying to say?Is
it one of those Senator Craig deals?Help us out, won’t you?We
need closure.
--At some website I’m
too lazy to relocate, I read a bunch of reviews of the Van Halen
rehearsal shows they’re doing in Los Angeles, for small “by
invitation only” crowds.
The consensus seems to be that the band sounds great, and David Lee
Roth is at the top of his game.But
Eddie looks scary as hell, about 100 pounds with a face that’s
collapsed upon itself, and a set of gigantic super-white fake Chicklet
teeth.
And his son, Wolfgang, while one hell of a bass player, apparently has
the stage presence of a double-stack pallet of peat moss.He’s also all zitted-up, one guy said.
Are any of you planning to catch any of the “reunion” shows?I’d love to, but probably won’t.I’ve always liked Van Halen, sometimes secretly and sometimes
out in the open, and am partial to the DLR era.But I’d have to drive to Philadelphia, and get off the couch and everything…
What’s the best reunion show you’ve ever attended?I’ve seen some good ones, including the Buzzcocks a couple of
times, and X at the Hollywood Palladium.Oh yeah.
--Check it
out, they’re
planning a convention in Scranton for fans of The Office.This is a
big deal here; every day there are multiple stories in the newspapers
about it.In one piece
they mentioned that organizers are trying to put together a group of
“bloggers” to do some live “blogging” at the event.
What do you guys think?Should
I contact ‘em?Would
they benefit from the Surf Report perspective?I think I might enjoy something like that.As long as they don’t call me a blogger…
--I drank one of the best
beers I believe I’ve ever had in my entire life this past weekend:Samuel Adams
Octoberfest.I
like most of the SA products, but this one I love.Sweet sainted mother of Robert Wayne “No Nose” Gardner!
I ordered a draft pint at Jim Dandy’s on Saturday, and it was almost
a religious experience.I’m
not kidding, I got weak in the knees.I had another, and it was just as good.The next day I went to a rare Pennsylvania convenience store with a beer license, and bought a six-pack (for $11
– holy shit!), and Toney and I savored them throughout the evening.
I’m sorry, I’m getting a little emotional here…
--I have more of this
Grade A material, but I’m going to call it a day.I need to drive out into Children
of the Corn country to pick-up the final reorder of Surf Report
t-shirts (only nine remain!), then prepare for a job interview
scheduled for 11 am tomorrow.I
think I’d better figure out what that company actually does…
So I’ll leave you now with the Question of the Day.I came up with this one yesterday, and if it pans out there
could be an infinite number of follow-ups in the future…
And here ya go:Have you
ever known anyone named Eric?Tell
us about him, won’t you?It’s
as simple as that.Use the
comments link below, to fill us in on your
Eric.
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