--And here we are on the final day of August, staring a big ol’
three-day weekend in the face, and distracted all to hell.Today’s update is going to be another of those clearing house
deals where I attempt to zero-out my Big Notebook of Fun, so I can
start fresh on the other side.
I hope some of it’s at least semi-entertaining…
--Yesterday I was planning to
take the youngest Secret to the driving range, so he could knock forty
or so golf balls into the middle of an open field, and needed three
dollars cash.That’s how much
a small bucket costs, you see, and it’s a fairly half-assed
operation.A person can’t go
there expecting them to have change, or anything fancy like that.
I almost never have actual cash anymore, I use my ATM card for almost
everything.And yesterday, like
most days, I had no foldable money.
So I went to a Sheetz convenience store, where they offer ATMs that
don’t charge a fee (“Money For Nothing”), and took out twenty
bucks.But, of course, that
still didn’t solve my problem.If
I went to the driving range with a twenty, they’d probably just
laugh in my face.
I needed to buy something.But
what?I looked around for a
sack of Combos, always a good choice, and (hey!) spotted a display of
Mountain Dew special edition over in the corner.This one was named Rocket Fuel, or somesuch.
When I was working I became quite fond of the novelty Dews, especially
the one called Black Death or Black Lung, or whatever.So I snatched up a bottle of the latest version, and stood in
line for upwards of fifteen minutes to pay for it.
Worst one yet.The first drink
tasted like flowers, and from there it became more of a fruit punch
kind of thing.Wotta rip-off.This new Mountain Dew SE cheapens the memory of the late, great
Black Plague.And most of it
went down our kitchen sink.
--Somehow my Netflix discs are
getting back and forth in a single day now.Since I joined their cult, it’s taken two days each way.So, I’m pretty excited.
I’m still on a TV show jag, and recently finished with season two of
Perry Mason.Good stuff.Right now
I’m watching the first season of The Fugitive, and am enjoying the crap out of that one as well.
And Extras!I’d heard somebody I trust say the show eats it from the
ass-in, and I think it was Phil Hendrie.But he was wrong, so very wrong.Toney and I devoured the first season in just a couple of
sittings, and laughed our fool buttocks off.
On the other hand… Arrested
Development.We watched the
first two episodes a few nights ago, and it didn’t do much for
either of us.
I’m prepared to give it the benefit of the doubt, and continue on
with it.But Toney has already
jumped-ship.I thought that
thing was supposed to be genius?Perhaps
I was just in a sour mood that night, but I ain’t feeling it
yet.
I have Hot Fuzz ready for
the weekend, and it’s the first actual movie I’ve rented in a long
time.I’m not sure how I’ll
react to such a thing…
--And speaking of The Fugitive, we were watching an episode last night in which
Richard Kimball noticed an article in the newspaper, about a one-armed
man being arrested in Los Angeles for some minor offense.
In an attempt to clear his name, he decided to risk being caught, and
travel to L.A. to visit with this man inside the city jail.You know, where lots and lots of cops work.
A couple of things, though…It
seems the guy was arrested for some little piss-ant robbery attempt,
but the article in the paper was HUGE.Also, since when do newspapers identify people based on a
handicap?The headline was
something like: One Armed Man
Arrested For Robbery.
That makes me laugh.On the
next page was there a piece called Harelipped
Woman Convicted On Drug Charges?Or
Boy With One Leg Shorter Than
The Other Crowned Spelling Bee Champ?How about Memorial
Service Set For Man With Gnarled Sweet Potato Arm?
Or am I reading too much into it?
--At this site you can
download the first single from the forthcoming Bruce Springsteen CD.Sounds damn good to me, and supposedly there’s very little
politics on the album.Always
welcome news....Especially
coming off his last record which was called, I think, Bruce
Sings the Great Communist Anthems.
--Rule of Thumb:Whenever a white doucheketeer attempts to rap, he’ll start
out with “My name is (whatever), and I’m here to say…”This is yet another thing that is true.
--My Google map is finally
starting to subside a bit.Yesterday,
while I was at the library putting the finishing touches on the
Special Report, both my feet began itching real bad.
Since I was sitting in the young adult section and young adults
don’t read, I knew I could remove my shoes and socks without being
discovered.And I had Cuba
on the bottom of one of ‘em, and the Philippines on the other.
Man, I scratched the hell out of those islands…
And last night my hands began swelling up like something out of Walt
Disney.It’s a good thing I
didn’t have to change the channels, because I woulda mashed all
manner of buttons with those big Jimmy Dean fingers.
But so far today… nothing.I
think I’m on the mend, and there’s very little fear remaining of
some buzzcut kid screaming across a department store, “Hey Mommy,
look at at the funny globe man!”
--Yeah, I didn’t fully
zero-out the notebook, but I sure made a big dent in it.I’m gonna turn it over to my good friend Brad now, and call
it a day.
I won’t bother with Monday, since nobody would read it, but I will
be back on Tuesday.If you’d
like to buy me a beer in the meantime, nobody’s going to stop you.A man needs a beer.
You guys have yourselves a great Labor Day, and I’ll see ya again
soon.
I've been putting out nothing
but coal black bottom dwellers since Monday
--