--One more night and it’ll all be over.If I can just shuffle and stumble my way to 2:30 am, I won’t have to even think
about work until Sunday evening.Oh,
how grand it will be…
And, as of this writing, Nancy and the gang will NOT be visiting on
the weekend.It’s hard
to get excited about such a thing, because they could change their
minds ten more times before Friday, but I’m pretty excited anyway.
The idea of a normal weekend – just hanging around the house in big
ol’ fat pants, taking Andy for a few leisurely pee-slinging tours,
drinking fancy-ass beer and maybe watching a little baseball – is
very appealing indeed.
I don’t think I could handle a house full of shrieking translucents,
and Eninen’s circus of kookery, right now.I really don’t. I have a pretty good track record of putting
up with a lot of crap, but this ain’t the weekend for it.
Just the thought
of Nossy and his emergi-naps, and going back inside for “a light
wrap,” and progress reports on his “pirate novel,” makes my
blood pressure elevate.So,
I’m cautiously optimistic…
--I planned to buy at
least one of the Replacements reissues yesterday, instead of voting
for president.But I ran
out of time, and didn’t accomplish that task either.I guess I’ll just wait until Thursday.
In the meantime, here’s an interview with Tommy, and another with
Paul, about the new Rhino CDs and the ‘Mats in general.
And if you wanna buy ‘em through our Surf Report whore-links, here
they are again:
Oh, and I stand by my decision not to vote yesterday.I’ll be there bright and early on election day in November,
but my vote yesterday would’ve meant nothing.May as well write the person’s name on a piece of paper, fold
it neatly and place it in my pocket, get in my car and drive to the
banks of the Lackawanna River, remove the paper, and throw it in the
water. And I'm a very busy man.
Plus, like I said, I don’t really like any of ‘em; I’m not
exactly driven by an overwhelming passion here.Hillary?Too
calculating and power-hungry.Buttcrack
Obama?Too liberal and con
man-smooth.John McCain?Too dull and status quo.
Plus, not to be shallow (ahem), but it bothers me the way McCain
starts EVERY speech (hell, every paragraph)
with “My friends…”
I think I might have to write-in Paul Westerberg.I don’t even know what his politics are, and that’s the way
I like it.Sooo
much better than pisswhistles like John Cougar Watermelon (or
whatever), who bore everyone to
tears by spewing-forth an open-sewer of cliches and partisan
claptrap.
That kind of stuff just makes me tired.Pass the beer nuts.
--Now, on to happier
subjects…When I bought
the new REM
album, and loved it on the very first listen, I was
concerned about Woodentops
Factor.But it’s the real deal, I think.I’ve played it every day I’ve owned it, and still enjoy the
hell out of the thing.In
fact, it’s the best music I’ve bought lately.
And I haven’t said that about an REM CD in a long time…
--Andy’s head almost
exploded yesterday, when the rarest of doggy trifectas took place:a UPS truck stopped in front of our house, a meter-reader was
in the yard, and a squirrel was hanging upside down from a branch in
the front yard, robbing from the birdfeeder Toney recently bought.
All at the same time!
I mean, it was Black Lips Houlihan Unleashed in here.He was barking and snarling, leaping from couch to chair, and
practically turning back flips in the grip of some crazed frenzy.I’m just glad his brain didn’t crack open; I’m not sure
how much pressure those things are designed to withstand.Seriously.
And speaking of Andy, he was sick for about 24 hours last week (prior
to the trifecta).He was acting lethargic, but we didn’t think too much about
it; he’s fairly lazy on normal days.But Toney took the boys somewhere (I was at work), and when she
returned she found four piles of vomit, and two pressure-blasts of
diarrhea across the living room rug.
Boy, you should’ve heard her telling me about that
on the phone.A few of the
bad words were used…
She chained him up outside, and I guess he was out there blowing
liquid feces into a hedge, and doing full-body pumps to beat the band.
The hell, man??Toney was
irritated with the hound, but I was worried about him.What had he gotten into?Was
he seriously ill?The
thought of losing Andy is too terrible to even contemplate.
He finally settled down, and Toney let him back in the house.And when I got home at 3:30 am, he was whimpering and standing
by the front door, having already puked at least twice.I let him out, he ran into the middle of the yard and
immediately humped-up.Then
I heard what sounded like Velcro being ripped apart.
I’m just thankful I wasn’t standing within the blast-radius…
Since then he’s been his old self.I have no idea what caused it; do dogs get 24 hour stomach
viruses?I simply don’t
know.But one thing I do
know:Yankee Candles sometimes come in handy.Whew!
--The oldest Secret’s
best friend is in trouble (again), and his Mom had his head shaved as
punishment.
I guess the little hooligan hasn’t been doing his homework, has been
going for the world record in school detentions, and just generally
being a pain in the ass.So,
his mother took him to the barber shop, and told the guy to get to
shavin’.
She’s done this before (I think I wrote about), and hangs it over
the kid as an ongoing threat.“You
better straighten up, boy, or I’m going to have your head shaved!”
Have you ever heard of this kind of thing before?It seems bizarre to me.What’s
the strangest form of parent/child punishment you’ve ever
encountered?Tell us about
it, won’t you?
And I’m going to zero-out the notebook on Thursday, and take Friday
off.
