--Remember when people used to put newspaper in the bottom of
their drawers?No, not
draw’s, drawers; like inside a dresser or whatever.My grandparents used to do that, and I think my parents did as
well.
And what is the point of such an exercise?Is it to protect the drawer bottom from wear and tear?If so, what the hell?You’d
have to be mighty neurotic to worry about scratching, or discoloring a
drawer bottom.Ya know?What’s next, Simonizing the back of the refrigerator?Scotchgarding the dust rag?
Or was it to protect the clothes (or whatever) from
the drawer?It seems like
there’d be more damage done with a sheet of ink-saturated pulp, than
a slab of pressed board.Who
wants to walk down the street with the upper left hand corner of a
Rite-Aid ad burned into their sweater shoulder?
So I don’t understand it, and we do not subscribe to the tradition.The cycle of Kay-family drawer-papering stops right here, with
me!You’ve got to stand up
for what you believe in… like Lincoln.
Last night at work I started thinking about the whole concept of
homemade drawer gaskets, while taking the long walk to the
pee-catcher.And I tried to
come up with other curious practices of grandparents, and people of
previous (but recent) generations.
I came up with three more, during the round-trip journey…
Like, keeping coins inside a rubber football-shaped “purse.”These things had a slit down the middle of one side, and
you’d squeeze the two points together, to cause the opening to widen
and allow access to the coins inside.
The side without a slit usually had an advertisement for some business
printed on it.Like
“Banjo’s Esso Station,” or “Jim’s TV Repair Radios Too!”
My brother and I always used them as makeshift puppets, pretending the
slit was a mouth.We’d make
our change purses say filthy things, and/or talk like a Chinaman.
So they were good for that…But
for their intended use?I’m
not so sure. What’s wrong with just carrying coins in your pocket?I don’t get it.Why
would a person need a bulky and tacky-ass bladder of rubber, with
which to transport thirty-seven cents?
Similarly, my grandparents also encased their “electronics” in
leather.
This included their transistor radio, my grandfather’s camera
equipment, and their calculator.I
remember people used to dress their Sony Walkmans in leather as well,
so as to protect the sophisticated gadgetry, and their sizable
investment.
I must admit that I have my iPod nano in a case, reportedly
constructed of “airplane aluminum.”So I can’t say too much about this one.But seriously… a calculator protector?That’s just silly.
Hell, my parents keep their cell phone in some kind of bulky leather
jacket, even today.The thing
has a plastic sheet over the keypad, and they have all sorts of
trouble dialing a number.If
they push down the seven, everything in the general vicinity also goes
down.
I say, “Why do you have that leather case??”And they say, “Protection,” as if they’re dealing with a
real-life dotard.
I think the thing cost $22.88 at Wal-Mart.It’s a TracFone!
And as a side note:I still
have the old leather-bound transistor radio my grandparents owned.When I was a kid I listened to WKAZ with it, and got really
excited whenever “Little Willy” by The Sweet would come on...
A few years ago I slipped in a fresh battery, and it worked like it
was brand new.But it was
playing some crap like Mariah Carey, which ruined the whole effect.
My grandparents would also run around and frantically unplug every
non-essential item, before a long trip.As if the toaster was going to sense an opening, and burst into
flames the moment they backed out of the driveway.
I think my parents broke that cycle, because I can’t remember them
doing it.And I wouldn’t even
go on any trips, if I was required to put forth such an effort.I don’t need that kind of aggravation.
And that’s all I could come up with, on my nine o’clock pee-run last night.Do you have anything to add to this one?Use the comments link below.
This is the only semblance of a day off for me until next Thursday,
and it’s absolutely beautiful outside.I keep leaving and doing things, then coming back and working
on this update.But I’m
stopping right here.
There’s something good-smelling in the Crockpot, after dinner
we’ll take Andy for a long walk, then we might do a little deck-sittin’
with the Pottsvillegolden elixir.
No update tomorrow, my friends.I
have to work ten hours (usually a day off), twelve hours on Saturday
(usually another day off), then go back and start my normal week on
Sunday.I can feel my sphincter
winking already…
I will, however, leave you with one of the more memorable Phil Hendrie
segments ever.I heard this
when it was originally broadcast, and remember thinking he was really
pushing his luck.But it’s
freakin’ hilarious, and well-worth checking out.
And just for the sake of clarity… Phil is both the host and
the guest, Steve Bozell.The
callers are real, and believe they’re listening to a “normal”
radio talk show.
