--I had to run a few errands today.I got a haircut (from a dumplin woman with, apparently, cloves
of garlic tucked in her folds), had lunch at Subway (a 12-inch turkey
and ham sub, with lettuce, tomato, green pepper, and onion), picked up
a prescription for the oldest Secret (double ear infection – days
before leaving on our trip), bought a pair of jeans (to replace the
latest victim of my denim-destroying ass), and topped off my gas tank
at Sam’s Club (saving me a full three cents per gallon).
And I hate to be a whiner, I really do, but I just can’t shake that
low-grade “flu” I had earlier in the week.I felt like shit on the half-shell on Sunday, and much better
on Monday.But I back-slid on
Tuesday, and haven’t been able to pull out of it since then.Now I’ve got congestion, harmonica-neck, and a cough that
feels like a million needles flying around.
Also, my left contact lens has been giving me problems.I can’t see without those things, glasses just don’t do the
trick, but I’m afraid I’m developing one of those weird Ralph
Nader wonk-eyes.And I can’t
have that.Today I put the
lenses in when I ran my errands, but have just been wearing glasses
around the house.And
everything’s in soft-focus, like on the Lifetime Channel.
Speaking of eyes, I can only close my left one, while my right one
remains open.I can’t do the
reverse.Can you?I try to open my left eye, with my right one closed, and it’s
as if the muscles required do not exist.Is that unusual?Are you
able to open one eye, and leave the other one closed, on both sides?
Here’s my non-detailed schedule for the next few days:
Friday:drive to West Virginia
Saturday:drive back from West
Virginia
Sunday:work ten hours
Monday:pack and organize Tuesday:fly to England
I’ll squeeze-out one more Surf Report update in that time, possibly
at 4 am on Monday morning, and that’ll
be it for a while.
But I’ll have plenty of pictures when I get back, and hopefully some
good stories to tell.Toney
convinced me not to take my laptop to London.But I’ll try to feed you guys periodic updates in the
comments, from the internet café “around the corner.”
When I was in Subway today they had a life-size standup of that Jarid
character, holding a pair of his old pants.The things were enormous, and I considered going out to my car
and getting the new pair I’d just bought, and having the Indian
gentleman who owns the place snap a picture of me and Jarid together.With our big pants.
But I didn’t have the juice to do it…Plus, I think those Subway franchise people view Jarid almost
like a spiritual icon.And I
didn’t want to to touch off a religious war, or something.
I also heard a man order the antisub: some kind of chicken deal they
had to stick in an oven.I
don’t care for hot subs at Subway, or the ones they run through the
heat tunnel at Quizno’s.It
makes everything kinda rubbery...Then
the guy asked for, get
this, black olives and extra
mayonnaise.Chewy chicken
with olives and loads of mayonnaise?Man,
that’s just nasty-ass.
Toney said she almost blacked out yesterday, because of a Triscuit
mishap.She said she swallowed
a piece that was too large, and it went down horizontal.Ya know, flat?She told
me she could feel the corner of the cracker scoring
her windpipe, and she gasped
and gagged for several minutes.Today
she’s experiencing mild throat trauma, and can feel where the hefty
snack (Triscuits are very hefty) worked its way through the tunnel.
Do you have any choking stories to tell?My Dad worked with a guy who supposedly got choked on a nacho
chip once, and coughed so hard the blood vessels in his face burst
and he ended up looking like a black man.He apparently ran out on his porch in a fit of mad panic, went
over the railing, and landed in the shrubbery below.
When he’d sat down with his bowl of chips he’d resembled Brian
Doyle-Murray, and when he emerged from the bushes five minutes later, he looked like Nat
King Cole.You know, if you can
believe the stories…
Got anything on choking?Use
the comments link below.
And I know this one’s a tad disjointed, but it was written over a
period of about twelve hours.I’ll
be back from Operation Andy Drop on Saturday night, and will tell you
all about it on Monday.
