--
I’m driving our dog Andy to West Virginiaon Friday, and returning on
Saturday.My parents are going
to watch the hound while we’re away next week, and I’ll be logging
roughly 1100 miles, roundtrip, to make it happen.
Crazy?Perhaps.But we put him in a kennel years ago, when we went on this trip
to Cape May, and he barely survived.When we went to pick him up he was skinny and terrorized, and
big clumps of fur had fallen out.He
acted like he didn’t even recognize us, and was walking toward the
light, I think.
Border collies are notoriously neurotic, but I think Andy got an extra
dose of it.And I vowed we’d
never put him through such an ordeal again.So I’m driving 1100 miles to make sure he’s comfortable
while we’re away.It’s the
least I can do for good ol’ Black Lips Houlihan who, you know, lies
around on couches for our benefit.
--In anticipation of the near
future, I got an oil change over the weekend.I was at least three thousand miles overdue.I also asked the guy to rotate the tires, check the air
pressure, and inspect the brakes.This
is how I do auto repair…
After I dropped off my car, and Toney was driving us home, she
mentioned that my state inspection sticker is expired.
Wha’?I had no idea…And I hate that; for years I drove around with all my shit
expired.One time I was pulled
over by a cop in Atlanta, and had expired tags, registration,
emissions, insurance, and a North Carolina driver’s license (even
though I’d lived in Georgia for over a year), also expired.
I think I was on my way to buy lunch at Arby’s, and planning to use
an expired coupon and Confederate cash as payment.But I’m a little foggy on that last part…
So, I’ve done that, and don’t want to do it anymore.It’s a thing
with me now.I pulled out my cell phone and called the dude at the garage.“I need an inspection too!” I shouted, hopefully.Sometimes they won’t do ‘em on Saturdays, when they’re
busy, but he said no problem.
Toney told me I was playing with fire, asking them to look at the
brakes and
do an inspection.So many
opportunities to up-sell me something unnecessary…But I didn’t care.I’m
not driving around with expired stickers on my car, like it’s 1992.If it costs me the price of a new tayback valve, so be it.
But, do you believe in miracles?They
told me the brakes are in good shape, and the car passed inspection
with no problems.Heck, they
didn’t even try to sell me a new air filter.It’s like something off Ripley’s
Believe It or Not.
They’re setting me up, aren’t they?
So, I guess I’m ready for Operation Andy Drop.I’ve even got a 12 pack of Mountain Dew chilling in the
fridge…
I still need to monkey around with the FM transmitter
I bought for my
iPod years ago, and never could get to work properly.I don’t believe it’s defective, I just think I’m stoopid.But I need it to function on Friday/Saturday, so I can overdose
on Phil Hendrie.I believe I
could put a sizable dent in September 2000, over those two days.
And speaking of Phil, here’s another classic for ya.This one features Bobbie Dooley, in a notorious segment known
as “Seth Goes Gay.”Heh.
--Surf Reporter Scott sends
along this Star Wars adventure…
--And here’s an interesting
item I received a few days ago, from Todd:
Jeff,I
was taking a friend to the airport yesterday when I stopped at a
nearby Wendy’s to use the john. This is what walked up next to me…
Ahh, Crap! I couldn’t believe the size of this man or his bare ass
and the fact that it was sticking out right there so close to my right
arm. His legs were so stout it was creepy!! Thought you might enjoy
it!!!
Man, that’s some stellar
camera work!I hope the
flash didn’t go off?Please
note that the file was sent to me with the title BellyorButt?And for a few seconds I couldn’t decide.I think it works either way.
--
I don't really have a question for ya, so I'll just ask: what's the
funniest book you've ever read? Two jump immediately to my mind: A Confederacy of
Dunces and Norwood.
The one I'm reading right now
is pretty freakin' hilarious, as well. What do you think are the
funniest books (novels or otherwise) ever?
Use the comments link, if you've got anything on this or anything
else.
, so I'll just ask: what's the
funniest book you've ever read? Two jump immediately to my mind: 